you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]sootsprite 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm overweight and I don't think you're evil or an asshole. You can't force physical attraction, though from your comments about your sex life it seems like you've never been that physically attracted to her? I think you owe it to your fiancée to be honest about what you're feeling before you marry her, and then it's up to her what she wants to do. You both deserve to have significant others who you feel attracted to and who feel attracted to you, but sadly it might not be each other. Ideally you might be able to still be friends if you break up, but of course I don't know if that will be possible.

[–]HighPlainsDrifter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's less that I have never been attracted to her and more just that our sexual chemistry has never been super intense. She knows that part and is fine with it. Before now we've always taken the approach that she's not the best sex I've ever had, and I'm not as spontaneous as she wants, and knowing both of those things we have always been open, honest and worked to make sure each of our sexual needs were met. We've agreed that we are not each other's ideal sex partners but we are each other's ideal mates in every other way (and to be fair she isn't the worst sex partner I've had, and I am able to personally "plan" more spontaneity for her). It's only been in the past period I've mentioned that sex has totally bottomed out. But thanks to some of the advice here I think I have a good idea of how to navigate the coming period of time and when I would need to involve an outside third party to help mediate further conversation on the subject.