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[–]florasis 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Don't get it. Do you want to meet a kind of woman who cares about your bank account, rather than just caring about you?

[–]yayblueberries 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah it is about bank accounts because being unemployed and not bringing in my own money can potentially be attractive to somebody who likes having power over others. I grew up in a household with a very controlling, abusive mother and one way she did that was financially and trying to not let me go to work. It was far easier for her to do that when I already didn't have a job. I don't need that to happen again.

Same with where I care about their and my bank accounts in the sense of, I also wouldn't really be too attracted to somebody not working unless I could begin to trust that they are just in a dip and not long-term unwilling to work and would try to mooch off my own finances/expect me to take care of her financially.

I have zero apologies for being very practical in relationships. They aren't just about romance/sex to me.

[–]florasis 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

In my house was the opposite, my mother dependent of my father. Yeah, financial independence is important, but I personally don't give a fuck about a girl work situation. If I had a wife, and she wanted to stay home, it would be fine. I'm going to make doctor money and without kids, I can support a partner.

[–]yayblueberries 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

That's nice, but I don't want a housewife, either. To me it is unacceptable to sit home and mooch off of your partner. I have struggled with money throughout my life, and have had to work entirely to support myself, it would be disrespectful to me for somebody to expect to be able to not work and live in my household. To me that is extreme laziness. Why not just go back to living with parents or being on welfare?

I just cannot believe in this sub my desire to not date when I am unemployed was up for negative judgment at all. There's no debate to even be had there, that's my personal choice. Just like it's your choice to be used for your money by somebody who wants to sit home all day doing nothing.