Just need to vent.
I had an argument on Twitter with someone who couldn't understand why changing the definition of the word 'lesbian' to include people with penises was harmful to us. When I said that people like myself needed a specific term to be able to talk about our specific experiences and struggles, she told me that lesbian wasn't a word just for me and my experiences. Or that I could just use 'same-sex attracted'. She then fucking assured me that sexuality was fluid and that some lesbians like dicks just like some gay men like vaginas.
And you know what's worse? She eventually told me that she was a lesbian herself. I wanna cry so bad omg. People like her are the reasons why I've struggled so much with my homosexuality for the past few years and why it took me such a long time to accept that I was only attracted to the same sex.
I tried to explain to her that because we started including everyone in our community, some people started dividing us between 'the good kind' of lesbians (bi women or closeted lesbians) and 'the bad kind' of lesbians (homosexual women), and that young lesbians were now growing up with the idea that being homosexual was a bad thing because of its exclusiveness but she didn't listen. She obviously told me that I sounded like I was limiting our discussion to genitals. Yeah, well, accepting that you're exclusively attracted to the same sex is maybe one of the hardest part of being a lesbian ... How can people not understand that we need a specific term to describe our reality? How can I talk about my struggles as a homosexual woman if the only word to describe myself is not specific to someone like me anymore?
I think what hurt me the most was that she seemed to be more empathetic towards trans people than towards us. It feels like now that being gay almost became a trend, people think homophobia doesn't exist anymore and that no gay person ever suffers anymore. Why did people stop caring about us?
I feel so alone in my struggles sometimes. I'm a 19 yo lesbian and this kind of mentality has really badly affected me for the last few years but it seems like I can't find any lesbian my age who's been through the same stuff. I don't know what's the age range of this forum but young lesbians are not doing well. I think so many of us are suffering in silence and don't have anyone to talk to. Our community is not doing well. This is a cry for help not only for me but for all of us who are younger.
I feel hopeless for the future. Is this the kind of world I'll have to live in? Why is that it feels like things are getting worse for us? Who will save us?
I hope I don't sound too dramatic but I hope you can understand how this whole situation has affected me as a young lesbian. There was a time when the LGBT community was my only refuge but now I've realized that it's just as homophobic as people outside of it and it breaks my heart. I feel so sad for younger lesbians who will never be able to find this refuge because it doesn't exist anymore. We've failed them. It feels like things are only getting worse. When will this stop?
Where are the other young lesbians? Am I the only one to feel depressed because of what transactivists are telling us? Am I the only one affected by this?
Edit: Thanks a lot for your support everyone!