What are your future goals?

submitted by IamWomanHearMeRoar from self.Lesbians

Feel free to be as elaborate or vague you want

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[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Finding a work/life balance is my new future goal. It’s been really hard for me to do. I’ve been working 15+ hours a day/7 days a week for as long as I can remember. Losing my grandpa, who was my hero and role model, in January really drove this home for me. In December on one of his good days when we went to see him he told me I was the spitting image of him and I need to learn to slow down and to sit way before he did so I don’t start missing out on the good parts of life.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Awwwww your grandpa. I’m sorry for your loss, especially someone so close to you. I had a major loss around then too. Then COVID happened.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

For an old school cowboy he was super accepting of everyone. He always made sure all of us girls knew we were just as capable as any man no matter what the job is, and he was was just as proud to have a drag queen as his great grandson as he was of the ones who joined the military. We haven’t been able to have his service yet because of COVID so it still feels extremely fresh, but hanging his boots and saddle in the barn helped a bit. I’m sorry you lost someone close to you as well, especially in a time like this where every thing is going to hell around all of us. 2020 has been a real shit sandwich.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Sometimes when I read your contributions to this forum I feel like I am reading some really intense western lesfic with hot cowgirls and awesome accepting grandfather characters etc and it seriously is so sweet and makes my day, because it’s not even fiction! I am so glad you post here. I am Canadian and the Canadian ranchers live far away from me, and I’ve never met any. You’re probably pretty common folk to have around in America but not here. So exciting! Lol. Don’t work yourself to death.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ha! You should have been at the ranch yesterday. I had a truck full of very nice looking cowgirl Veterinarians and their assistance showed up to float all horses and donkeys teeth and work on some of the cows. Even my wife came out to admire what was happening. I live a blessed life lol

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Eeeeeeeeee! Cowgirls! What a life! and you’re in nature. You might be working a lot but you’re not gonna get sick like people whose feet never hit soil.

A big part of what’s wrong with all this gender shit is how separated we are from ourselves as animals. We live in our heads

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am so so sorry to hear about your grandpa!

[–]CJLez 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

My future goals will probably seem pretty pathetic and small-fry compared to most people here but I've got to start somewhere. I've previously suffered from severe depression and ended up turning into a zombified shut-in who did nothing but work and sleep. I'm finally managing to overcome it to the point where, right now, it is at the lowest level since I was diagnosed 20 years ago and there is finally a damn light at the end of the tunnel so I feel like I can finally start on some actual self-care rather than bullshit self-soothing...

  • get down to a healthy BMI (20/100 lbs lost so far - lockdown threw me for a loop but I'm back on track now)
  • get back into exercising
  • start meal planning and stick to the plan
  • pay off my credit card so that I have no debts (apart from my student loan)
  • once that is done, start putting the previous debt payments towards saving for a rental deposit on a 1 bed flat so that I have a better and bigger space to live in
  • once that is done, maybe take some adult learning courses and also start saving for a rainy day
  • try and get my asthma in check. I'm waiting for an appointment with a respiratory team as my doctor says there is no reason it should be so bad when I'm taking so many drugs for it, but they're obviously a bit busy right now, so this is a longer term goal
  • 100% deep clean, declutter and organise my current flat. If I don't love it or need it or use it, it goes.
  • force myself to be more social. Before Covid happened I was talking to people in real life for the first time since 2012 and loving it. Once things start opening up again I'll be putting myself back out there
  • bonus goal - which will sound utterly ridiculous to everybody - get to the damn dentist. Local anaesthetic doesn't work on me at all; I've had dental surgery previously with two lots of cream and four injections in one spot and I still felt every single thing while the dentist kept telling me I was lying and that I 'couldn't feel anything.' I developed an intense phobia and, since 2014 I've tried to get various dentists to treat me for an tooth abscess, but they've refused due to me being too nervous. I can't be put under general anaesthetic because you legally need someone to go with you, which I don't have. I'm hoping that if I get down to a healthy weight that might make the injections work but apparently some people are just immune simply due to genetics.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

chronic shut-in here, not pathetic at all, dragging yourself out of that rut is incredibly hard & you should be proud you've overcome it enough to start tackling goals!! you've got this!!

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have the same problem with local anesthetic, damn genetics. If I ever need more then a cleaning we have a dentist an few hours away who run this awesome place called Sleep Dentistry that knocks you out and does what you need. They are hard to find but they kick ass when you need them

[–]CJLez 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip! I'll look into it.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Weight loss will help so much with breathing. It really pushes on everything that needs to expand when you breathe. Starting going on long walks if you haven’t started already, if that is possible.

Edit: I suggest walking a lot first because it gets your endurance up without being horrible and soul destroying, and also helps circulation and mental health. Might be easier on someone who has breathing issues. Starting an extreme workout routine quickly is a recipe for disaster.

Edit again: don’t focus on the number as much as how you feel in your body and what you would physically like to be able to do. 100 lbs is a big number and takes a while to get down in a healthy way. Be gentle with yourself, it sounds like your mind and body have been through a lot.

[–]CJLez 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'll always have some form of asthma - I was on either side of the clincially underweight line from 0-13 years and my asthma was horrendous as a kid but losing weight can only be an overall benefit for it.

I love walking - it's my favourite form of exercise - I used to enjoy zumba/body combat a lot but with covid numbers climbing here I'm avoiding going back to any group classes until things calm down again so it's walking and some light dumbbell/kettlebell/stretching exercises at home for now. Currently making my way through Zombies Run and the time just melts away.

I want to get down to a healthy bmi ideally and then work out how I feel from there - losing 100lbs would put me at 115lbs which is near the top of my suggested range (98lbs - 123 lbs) but if I lose less and I feel happy there then I'll stick with that and work on more strength work rather than just weight loss so I'm not hyper focused on numbers.

Be gentle with yourself, it sounds like your mind and body have been through a lot.

Thanks :)

[–]al-Amira 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t see anything small fry about any of that, sounds like great goals to have and congratulations on getting back on track again despite corona.

[–]yayblueberries 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To find a full-time job. It doesn't quite matter what it pays in my state (NY) because minimum wage is $11.80/hr and I know how to live like a pauper. It just has to be a job and it has to be full-time. This is such a daunting task right now. I don't want to be on unemployment, I don't WANT to be unemployed.

I hate saying that I'm bored, but I am. I'm renting a room and I just sit here most of the day after I go for a daily walk. I don't have much left to do, I've organized and pared down so much of my digital life, and my physical belongings.

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

To learn a third language. I'm lucky enough to know two, but I've never just sat down and decided to learn a new language before. My spouse and I are going to practice together. We'll probably develop a weird accent between the two of us sharing it primarily, but we'll do our best.

[–]Graythoughts 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

  1. More therapy
  2. Find meds that do not make me sick
  3. Finish writing my book
  4. Save money to buy a small house or condo for me and my cat
  5. Learn how to make Beef Wellington

[–]CJLez 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

ooh - fiction or nonfiction book?

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

short term goals: 1. live through this frickin pandemic 2. buy a camera, take awesome photos 3. start exercising again 4. pass a super hard nursing certification exam. long term goal: 1. become some kind of hybrid nurse/park ranger working outside in nature

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Park ranger is gay, lezbo. I love it.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

  • I really need to find a job at some point, being one of the covid unemployeds. Hopefully as a web developer, although I never feel like my skills are good enough

  • I'm trying to learn French

  • I want to get my body into some sort of shape that could be called "athletic". I'm getting soft from all the unemployment.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Maybe I will try and learn French with you. Having a buddy to speak to would help.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

that would be awesome. i'm currently just doing duolingo and sometimes anki, but i've had kwiziq recommended to me, so i'm going to try that too.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

i want to get in better shape too because my butt is growing with all the stay-at-home sitting around but i am afraid of gyms right now. there was another girl on here that said she had made some dumbbells and was working out at home. it has really inspired me to do the same. i plan to make a cross fit type plywood box, get some used dumbbells, a jump rope and do some of the stuff i learned in cross fit. then start jogging again.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

that was me! i can't believe i inspired someone!

if you can find some dumbbells to buy, definitely do it. they've been impossible to find here for months, so i made mine out of concrete and pvc pipe roughly following this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUPWRiTRR5Y

they work ok, but they can leave behind concrete dust and crumbles and the weights aren't perfect, but close enough. i have to be careful not to drop them too, so they don't crack.

hope your plywood pylo box comes together, that sounds great.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

oh yes!!! thank you!!! you really did inspire me. i was like "wow that is awesome, she made her own dumbbells. there is no excuse for me not to do something here at home." so i'm really excited to get started on it. thank you!!!!! :)

[–]plotbunny 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

  • get into grad school
  • move to a city I want to live in
  • actually be in a relationship
  • (less important) run my first ultra

[–]IamWomanHearMeRoar[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What’s an ultra?

[–]plotbunny 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ultramarathon! It's any distance over a marathon. Hoping to start with a 50k and go from there

[–]a_blue_bird 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

(1) buy a sports motorcycle
(2) move to a house on the outskirts of the city, so that I can have a garden or a backyard or something like that
(3) maybe go to Italy for a few years
(4) maybe find a girlfriend, but that's very unlikely, considering how little free time I have

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We have similar goals! I debated leaving the country entirely though (Italy was looking good, before the pandemic. Sigh).

[–]BigMommyMilkers 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm liking (1) - what are you looking into? I've just bought a Yamaha R6

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

  • Publish my music
  • Try to somehow reduce the frequency and/or severity of my mental health symptoms (partly through regular therapy sessions)

I'm trying to do at least 10 minutes of meditation every day, positive meditation like LKM, but it is so hard getting myself to actually do it lol. Literally 10 minutes, that's all I want. Does anyone have a regular meditation routine?

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    That’s absolutely normal and a great opportunity to notice the state you are in. When my mind is swirling around like crazy I know it is good that I am meditating and noticing it. You don’t have to be calm or focused, meditation can be just noticing what IS, and accepting it without attaching too much weight to it.

    When I started meditating I was super irritable during. Impatient. Feeling like a failure etc. I’m glad I stuck with it tho

    [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    For anyone who is looking for free meditations (I am not marketing, I just find them useful for me): Lets Meditate app Log on soundlcoud and look for ANY Jon Kabat Zinn meditation Deepak Chopra on soundcloud, or David Ji on Soundcloud. "So good! Also, there is free MBSR certification or the course through UMASS

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Right after you get up, before you go to bed. Or any time you have 10 minutes. You can do “walking meditations” too where you are focusing on your feet touching the ground etc. You just have to DO it, even if you don’t want to, that might be the best time. It’s fine if you are pissed off or irritable etc. No meditation is a bad one. It’s just about having an experience and being present for it and refocusing when the mind wanders. That’s it. Anything you feel is perfect.

    [–]Destresse 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Get into an engineer school to get a degree in renewable energies and spend my last-year internship in Japan. Therefore I have to pick my lousy high school japanese back up. Therefore I started watching Gintama 😂 needless to say, it hasn't helped my language skills but honestly it has helped my overly worried self feel better with its ridiculousness.

    Like lots of you, I aim to have a generally better mental health, like learn to properly take care of myself. Hopefully see my therapist again and finally make some progress with healing trauma. I used to be so optimistic about that but lately I feel very gloomy.

    [–]spermaide 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Work in the aviation industry as an aircraft mechanic and also learn how to fly a plane. Buy a house in a small city. Hopefully, have a girlfriend.

    [–]Mobymaybe 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Find a good volunteer project. Nothing relating to lgb. Maybe an animal shelter or something outside.

    [–]basetenprefix 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Short term: Finish writing a third song and release a small 4-5 song album with my friends. Also start meditating regularly (which is more difficult than it would seem).

    Medium term: Prototype an app. If people like it, maybe it turns into a long term goal, otherwise I'll move on as I just want to try it once.

    Long term: Start an investment fund. It's a moonshot goal as I have a full time job already, but I love investing and would love to do it for a living. If not that, then probably write a book or start a podcast about saving/investing/budgeting.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]TheLesbean 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      There are food banks and farmers who can give you great deals. Check out farmer markets from actual farmers

      [–]Dancing_Roses 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      • Lose weight (165 lbs to 125 lbs) + become toned
      • Get a degree in medical laboratory technology and get my ASCP certification.
      • Travel to China and Japan

      [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      I'm currently saving up as much money out of my weekly paycheck as I can. If interest rates go up after the election, I'll put that chunk into a CD/high yield savings so my money can go to work for me.

      I also plan to make a profile on a website meant for dating/making friends.

      [–]TheLesbean 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      Become more toned/get abs (I kind of have abs but more defined), make more lesbian friends, live a decent life?