Remember when Dan Savage tried to pimp out Lesbians. He needs to keep the word Lesbian out of his mouth, yet here is his latest (Advice for a lesbian-identifying woman attracted to her male coworker)

submitted by Happy_face_caller from aux.avclub.com

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[–]oofreesouloo 34 insightful - 3 fun34 insightful - 2 fun35 insightful - 3 fun -  (20 children)

Being a lesbian isn't an 'identity'. Jeez. You're either a lesbian or you aren't. I seriously don't understand WHY would a clearly bisexual woman (and she's perfectly aware of her attraction to men) 'identify as a lesbian'? Why? What's wrong about being bisexual? What is it so special about being a lesbian? If they were a lesbian indeed, they wouldn't need to be constantly justifying it: "I identify as a lesbian, BUT I sometimes feel attraction to men/I identify as a lesbian BUT for some reasons I've decided not to pursue anything physical with men ever again". It's clear as the water you're NOT a lesbian, so STOP pretending.

MENTAL GYMNASTICS OLYMPICS:

  • "If there’s a lesbian-identified-but-not-averse-to-all-dick dyke in your life… if you work or to go school with a homoromantic-but-bisexual woman who identifies as a lesbian…"

  • "You remain homoromantic—you’re only interested in other women romantically—but you are sexually attracted to both men and women. In other words, COVET, your heart is lesbian but your pussy is bi." (What the bloody f*ck)

There's even already a word for all of this - febfem. But NO, lesbian is the most ~special, unique and queer progressive tee hee~ uwu /s

[–]Gearbeta 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

This is reminding me of that one moron a few months ago who claimed to be a lesbian but... but... she was just so LONELY in covid lockdown and her male roommate was RIGHT THERE so obviously this supposedly "lesbian" just had to fuck him. She eventually changed the title to something less stupid but the damage was done, there were so many straight dudes saying that lesbians weren't real because of that article.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think that same woman was also a sex worker tho so clearly she has some issues with embodiment. She probably doesn’t experience sex in a healthy way so doesn’t even understand actual orientation. I think there are actually many ppl like that

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Those bi women that call themselves lesbians simply don't respect us or care about our experiences and feelings as homosexual women. I think it has a lot more to do with men than women for them lol.

    [–]VioletRemi 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    They don't respect both lesbians and bisexuals by doing this. They make people believe that "sexual orientation is a spectrum" and that "bisexuals don't exist".

    [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    You're right, maybe Ill start calling it 'internalized biphobia' with a dash of homophobia as well. Their homophobia comes into play whenever they try to redefine lesbianism to incude them.

    [–]VioletRemi 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    And they aren't going hard on gay men, it is lesbians to suffer the most too, eh.

    [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    True, people in general have way less respect for lesbians than gay men. It is more accurate to label this behaviour as lesbophobia instead of homophobia, cuz it happens to us way more.

    [–]oofreesouloo 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Now that every non-lesbian has decided to call themselves a lesbian, what are we actual lesbians supposed to call ourselves??

    Exaaactly. Bi women have plenty of labels they could use (most totally stupid, but still more accurate than lesbian). They could use bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, hell EVEN "bi/pan lesbian" is a little bit better than just lesbian (at least there's bi in the label), and of course, FEBFEM! They could even say 'bi with a preference for...'

    But WE, the actual homosexual females, ONLY have ONE damn word and EVERYONE wants to mysteriously use it and twist its definition when there already 10000000 labels for bisexuality. 🤦 And now 'homosexual' is 'outdated and sometimes can be offensive'. F*ck off.

    [–]VioletRemi 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Nowadays "loving girldicks" is called lesbian too. Which is even worse than bisexuals murking the line between sexual orientations.

    [–][deleted] 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

    Usually they have man-trauma and choose women until they sort of heal that and stop hating dudes. It’s a total bummer for lesbians tho

    [–]oofreesouloo 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

    Okay. But why don't that women use febfem? It also excludes men without negating their bisexuality.

    [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 6 fun -  (5 children)

    They should use febfem, but they end up with men after 30, usually they are all “it’s the ONE GUY” lol

    [–]oofreesouloo 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

    You're totally right lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    I wonder if they get baby fever or whatever is supposed to happen to women after 30. I seem to have missed the compulsion to breed. I love babies but don’t want my own

    [–]oofreesouloo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Ahaha!

    I love babies but don’t want my own

    I'm very similar to you! I think babies are so cute . BUT! I don't want to get pregnant, that thought always made me uncomfortable lmao. But having kids in another way? I have no f*cking idea, I'm still pretty young and first, I would need a gf and so many other things.

    [–]Astrid2448 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Then by 40 they drop the “OMG he’s so special!! What a coincidence that I managed to meet the one boy on the planet that I like!” and just admit they’re bisexual and it’s not that deep.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah for real. They would be doing bisexuals a solid by not being ashamed of it ffs. The bi women I go for don’t have issues with themselves being bi and don’t feel the need to belabour it

    [–]Astrid2448 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Because it’s not just about trauma, it’s also about their image and attention. Febfem doesn’t sound cool and sexy the way lesbian does. Plus the guys they hook up with like hearing they banged a lesbian more, so that’s a plus too! /s

    [–]Happy_face_caller[S] 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Exactly! And so much this.

    Everyone gets to have a sexual orientation but Lesbians

    [–]whateverman 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (14 children)

    For various reasons, I decided a few years ago not to pursue physical stuff with men anymore and I publicly identify as a lesbian.

    FuUuUuUuck you lady. Political lesbians are the worst.

    [–]WildwoodFlower 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (13 children)

    She sounds bisexual to me.

    [–]VioletRemi 19 insightful - 4 fun19 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    "Political lesbian" often straight woman who is going "men are bad, so I will date women". Often they are men haters, but not women lovers.

    [–]oofreesouloo 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (10 children)

    Political """""lesbians""""", as far as I know, is a term created by NON lesbians and it's usually bisexual women who use it, so you're correct

    [–]WildwoodFlower 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

    I thought "political lesbians" were feminist separatist types (mostly from the 70s) who tried to make a conscious decision to forget about men and pursue relationships with women. Anyhow, that's the impression I got from reading a Dorothy Allison essay back in the 90s. The definition may have changed since then.

    [–]oofreesouloo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I don't know precisely, but yes I know they were feminists and NON lesbians. No lesbian needs to "forget men" lmao.

    [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

    That is my understanding it of it as well - straight women who consciously decide to live as lesbians and aren't naturally attracted to women, or at least very much prefer men sexually. I don't think a bisexual who naturally prefers women would count as "a political lesbian."

    [–]oofreesouloo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    What people here have told me was the opposite - that it's more common for bisexual woman to use it than straight women (because bisexual women already have attraction towards women, they just choose to "forget" or purposely don't act on the opposite sex attraction). Either way, I despise political lesbians (regardless of them being straight or bisexual women)

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I fear political lesbians because I don't want to wind up with someone who is only pretending to be attracted to me. I do not care if a bisexual woman opts out of dating men - if she's genuinely attracted and committed to me, I don't care if she's also attracted to men.

    [–]oofreesouloo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I simply wont date political lesbians lmao. Regardless of their sexuality, I won't waste my time on someone whose sexuality is a "lifestyle" and a political move

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Political lesbians are febfems and celibate straight women who are female separatists. You don’t have to fuck women to be a political lesbian, is what I thought it was

    [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It does say on the wiki that some "political lesbians" opt to be asexual or celibate, which strikes me as weird, but you are correct. It looks like so long as they're opting out of heterosexual relationships, it counts.

    [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah, and they don’t have to sleep with women either. It’s a woman-centred political stance, but it doesn’t mean women “decide” to fuck women. Maybe some realise they are bi or lesbian but it’s not mandatory to be a lesbian as in a homosexual. That is why it’s called “political lesbian” and not lesbian. But that might be a wrong interpretation

    [–]Astrid2448 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It’s not sounds like, she’s not. It’s not even just the hookup, she’s outright saying it was just a label for her.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Astrid2448 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

      Yet no one would say that a “straight man” going “you’re cute and I’m horny ;)” to a gay guy was straight. Somehow when it’s bisexual women co-opting lesbians and offering up the “forbidden fruit” they’re given huge praise. I guess that’s the power of being fetishizes.

      It gives me a lot of sympathy for trans men. If I was a boy no one would demean and ridicule my sexuality just because some attention seeking moron wants the peen.

      [–][deleted] 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      Lol. Thanks “sexuality is a spectrum” for giving us such hits as “I am more or less a lesbian (until graduation).”

      We used to call women that called themselves lesbians and then opted out in late 20s, early 30s “lugs,” lesbians until graduation when they start hanging out with more dudes and can’t deny their attraction to men. Most of the women later admitted they were always attracted to men but used lesbian because they didn’t intend to date any. So essentially, she has always known she was bi, but didn’t use that language, this is common. Very annoying. One of the reasons few believe in lesbians or trusts bisexuals.

      [–]Gearbeta 14 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

      One thing I'd like to mention about stories like this is that they aren't always women writing in. Sometimes its men enacting a fantasy. I've caught men doing this on r/sex multiple times where the "lesbian" who was super into dick was actually a straight guy RPing as a lesbian on the internet.

      EDIT: I believe in this case it is an actual woman though

      [–]mangosplums 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      That's a really good point. You never know who's writing this stuff.

      [–]vagatarian 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      Strange you should use the word pimp, just the other day I was contemplating how the LGBT+ movement and intersectional feminism currently feels justified to pimp out lesbians to benefit their gender ideology disregarding bodily autonomy of lesbians and free speech without demonization and harrassment

      [–]Jamiethiel2018 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

      Dan Savage can fuck off & get back in his own god damn lane. With the Advocate trotting out Lesbians to try to gaslight us into staying, surely they could've found one woman, at least, to give advice.

      Baby dykes & late bloomers are already confused as hell & feeding them pomo bs doesn't help anyone but men.

      Our whole system is so different. A man can't help but notice he's aroused, not to mention he's allowed to be sexual for himself. For us, the response can be subtle & for me it wasn't seeing an attractive woman that clued me in. It was only when I saw two women kissing in a sober, authentic fashion, that I felt something. There is no way for men to understand what we feel. It wasn't base, or objectifying. I didn't want them, I wanted to have that connection with a woman.

      I was hoping, with the G being a target & peaking, that LGB could stay together. I'm not sure that's in our best interests.

      [–]Happy_face_caller[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

      So true. I’m a late bloomer and after I came out I felt so free and it wasn’t but a few years before I was being told to suck ladyD**k. I was so confused and traumatized. The same people celebrating my not being with men, demonized me for not being available for tw. It was so confusing.

      These rent-a-womb gay men that pretend Female biology isn’t real aren’t our allies.

      They will opportunistically capitalized on our lives whenever it benefits them.

      We only have each other.

      [–]Jamiethiel2018 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

      You bring up a very good point: I cannot & will not support surrogacy even for gay men. Altruistic surrogacy I have no control over & don't get a vote if women are not being coerced.

      I'm not sure how big an issue this is for the gay community. I just worry that lesbians aren't numerous enough to sustain a movement at the local level certainly, and worry about the national level. If we can connect internationally, I think we'd be strong.

      [–]Happy_face_caller[S] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      If Gay men want to have kids and rent a womb I mean I have ethical issues with it, but ultimately good for them I guess. Yet to then deny female biology is real to pander to tw I can’t get behind that hypocrisy because it’s garbage.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Happy_face_caller[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

        I was 35.

        No way 25 is considered late bloomer. That’s young