Were you the weird kid?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.Lesbians

Just something I've been reflecting on, but I've always been "the weird kid." Even though I've always had plenty of friends, people call me weird and I've never quite fit in anywhere or felt like I belonged. The one time that I did have that feeling, 3/4 of that friendship group turned out to be lesbian or bi. Is this something most lesbians experience? Can't have helped that I was always the snotty teachers pet too lol

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[–]whateverman 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, until I found others I fit in with. I feel more out of place as an adult than I did when I was younger.

I feel like a lot of my straight friends are obsessed with sex, hook-up culture, bars, partying and drugs. I think I might just be a prude.

I know my experience can't speak for all lesbians, but in my case, I just happily embrace the homebody, straight-laced, monogamous married life. I'm still young and feel ancient inwardly when comparing myself to most of my straight friends. Most of my lesbian friends in real life aren't much different.

[–]yayblueberries 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yup but I was severely bullied for it and I still don't know for what reasons or WHY. I was not "out" in high school. My parents weren't so poor that I could only afford to wear rags. Etc etc. I have had a life-long cynicism regarding people in general as a result of such cruelty over seemingly NOTHING.

[–]beholdyourheart 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Kind of, I was extremely quiet and didn't have any friends growing up, but I was never bullied or anything. I was just very good at blending in, by the time I graduated high school nobody at school even knew my name. Maybe people did think I was strange for always being alone but they never told me to my face which was kind of them 😂

I reckon that the feeling of not belonging anywhere is very common with lesbians. For me, even when I was a kid and didn't even know what a lesbian was, I still felt like I didn't quite fit in anywhere somehow, and that just got amplified when I came to terms with my sexuality as a teen

[–]SailorMoon2020 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

This is interesting. Same, even as an adult, I still get that but from women. It was always girls/women saying that.

Like you, gaining friends and being social wasn't hard. I often didnt have a set clique I hung out with but interacted with majority of those in my grade and others. Even now I don't know how I was weird(besides for being a bit aggressive and forward-but hardly call that weird), but one thing that stands out that when I was in high school during lunch, a girl said, "If you were a guy I would totally fuck you" and to see all the other girls at the same table as I agree was just really weird to me.

Women are weird around other women they deemed to be 'weird'.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I was weird, and funny.

[–]plotbunny 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I was one of the weird ones. It's tough because I've always been a bit reserved and quiet around people I don't know well. I've usually ended up finding the other weird ones and they've mostly been really good friends. Usually it just boils down to different/less common interests (and a lot were also LGB).

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’ve been described as an asshole with a heart of gold, and most recently the lesbian version of Rick Sanchez (that one’s from my niece). I’ve always been blunt and haven’t really cared for what my piers thought about me for the most part. Like my mom always says “what other people think about you is none of your business”. For some reason my abrasive, not caring, no nonsense, shit talking nature makes people keep trying to be my buddy when all I want to do is hang out with my donkey and horses. I’m an extreme case of what you see is what you get and that has shown me that if you embrace your weird people can’t judge you on it.

[–]optimistic_dyke 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I relate to that a lot. Since I was a small kid,no matter how much I tried to fit in with so many different groups I never truly belong, and it's an awful feeling since I'm stupidly extroverted by nature.

I still haven't found somewhere I fit in because of my circumstances (spent pretty much all my teenage years with undiagnosed EDS and in isolation, now am 18 trying to be a normal human again so never could get close with other LGB ppl)

Any advice you'll be very appreciated

[–]queerone 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. My username isn't the sexual connotation of queer so much as I've never really fit in.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

yuuup, boys wouldn't hang w/ me cause i was a girl, girls wouldn't hang w/ me cause i was too much of a boy. was also fat so everyone hated that! <3 i think that total rejection & resulting isolation just made me weirder & weirder. definitely drove me to being the snottiest of teacher's special helpers thru elementary school. was finally accepted into a group in high school that contained some gays, but not me i was Very Heterosexual Actually, Can't Believe I Keep Having To Come Out As Straight To You Guys. now as an adult i feel like i'm stuck at some in-between space where i'm too weird for ppl who think they're normal but too normal for tru weirdos. very lonely, but i still keep up hope that i will find at least 1 person that will accept me someday, if it's ever safe to leave the house again. <3

[–]catsuneko 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah a similar thing happened to me, I was the weird (and quiet) girl, and the group I hung out with from middle school to sophomore year of high school (I moved and had to switch schools after that) was made up of quirky kids (mostly girls but there were a few guys) and most of them turned out to be lesbian/gay or bi. But tbh I didn't really feel like I really fit into that group, mostly because I had only had a few friends in there and the rest were either acquaintances or people I knew but didn't really talk to, and like I said I was really quiet and not good at talking to people I don't know very well. So honestly I never actually felt like I belonged anywhere.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

YES I was!!! I was isolated and to some degree socially shunned when I was in elementary, in large part I think because I wouldn't perform femininity. (No interest in getting my ears pierced, pink as a color, dresses and tutus, and whatever the fuck else.)

Thankfully I found a better friend group when I got older, and now I hang out with a bunch of fellow nerds, lol. A lot of my close female friends these days are also relatively more masculine, including the straight ones.

[–]Fraeulein 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorta?? But I wouldn't say I was an outcast or anything, that didn't happen until high school. I was considered weird, but in more of a class clown sort of way, and people generally did like me. I definitely feel more out of place as an adult now than I ever did as a child.

[–]WildwoodFlower 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, I was very much the weird kid. I am still weird.

[–]rolypoly 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yup. Either weird or invisible/overlooked. I assume it's just because I'm autistic, so I've always been different from my peers. I don't dress any special way or speak up much, and I've never fit into any typical groups. Almost all of my friends are straight, too.

[–]lmaonope333 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

yes, but I attribute it more to my trauma than to my sexuality, as there were several closeted lesbians in my grade who were pretty popular. although my sexuality definitely played a role