What was your first serious crush?

submitted by VioletRemi from self.Lesbians

Mine was when I was around 10-11 years old into a classmate. She was learning to play piano. All girls during that time were starting too look at boys and discuss them, but I was not interested in that and had heavy crush into this girl instead. I was ashamed of being different (different from everyone else once again!) and afraid of people reaction at me. So I kept it secret. There was one special trait in that girl - she was always closing her eyes when playing piano. I did not liked how she was playing, but I was always asking her to play me during school breaks or after school when she was waiting her parents to take her home. She was playing with closed eyes and I was enjoying her looks, her face and her gentle hands. And with closed eyes she will not see that I am watching at her like that and will not freak out from that. That was one of few nice things in my life during that time, so it is very special and precious memories of mine.

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[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

12/13 years old, the singer in my older friend’s band. She put her arm around me and introduced me as her “girlfriend” to some teenager and I felt like I had been struck by lightning and went bright red. Filled with warm. It was so startling. She was so cool. I was so fascinated by her. She was not even a lesbian or anything. I could hear my blood in my ears.

[–]VioletRemi[S] 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

That was super cute.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 10 fun10 insightful - 9 fun11 insightful - 10 fun -  (4 children)

This is horrible to admit, but I was 6 and my mom bought 9 to 5 on vhs. The moment I saw Dolly I was smitten. My mom and cousin still make fun of me to this day with I said “She’s the hottest cookie in town”. I was obsessed.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

This is the gayest fucking homosexual lesbian dyke response on earth and I LOVE IT.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

And I was 6! The one liners got way worse with age and confidence. The real kicker is I married a 5’1”, petite, top heavy, blonde woman. Guess what story my mom told in her toast, in front of everyone I know, at my wedding reception.....

*edit because of words

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Omg that’s so cute. Gay4Dolly. I love dolly.

[–]VioletRemi[S] 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

That was 9 out of 5 response!

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

When I was in fifth grade I had a crush on my best friend. Our friend group talked about boys a lot and I participated just to feel included. When we discussed favourite boy band members, I'd just pick one randomly. When they'd talk about boys in school they liked, I just picked one that was from another class because I had never interacted with him and he seemed so far away in our small world. My best friend never participated and didn't seem interested in boys at all at the time. She called me out for lying when we were alone; eventually, I just stopped lying about it.

I had never heard the word lesbian or even considered girls could like each other in the same way, but she was my first kiss and my first crush. She moved away before we went to high school. We had a fight because we were each jealous of new friends that we made in middle school. It was so stupid. We reconnected through mutual friends as adults and honestly, she hasn't changed much. She's still great. We don't hang out really, but we do catch up now and then.

[–]VioletRemi[S] 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

Lesbians can spot each other even at this young age, heh.

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

It's so weird that we could! Neither of us even really talked about it. I don't think she even knew the word lesbian either. We just knew that we were different from the others.

[–]VioletRemi[S] 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

It is nice to meet soul mates so early, and at least to know that you aren't the only one like that.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Lol. I used to pick random boys too, when the other girls started talking about boys in grade school I would pick the prettiest one because I knew I had to at least participate. When they started putting on makeup they lost me though. Lol

[–]SillyGoose 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was 14 when I first acknowledged my feelings as a crush, even though I'd been attracted to girls for years before. Entering ninth grade, I had no friends in most of my classes and ended up partnering with the quiet girl. We quickly became close friends and I soon developed a pretty serious crush on her. We had some pretty weird tension and would often touch each other, wink at each other, that sort of thing. I felt really weird about touching her, even just a casual handshake, in a way that was really new to me. When I found myself accidentally thinking about how cute I thought she was and fantasizing about going out on a date, I realized it was a crush. It's been about two years now and I still have feelings for her. The worst part is that I haven't told her that I'm a lesbian and she probably is straight. I mean, she told me she isn't interested in boys or dating, but the dating pool is limited at my school anyway and I think her family's conservative. She's still a really good friend anyway, at least.

[–]Gynephile 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I was in 6th grade. She was mixed race with green eyes and light brown curly hair. I had never felt a love like that before. We were in gym class one day and she was telling all her friends that she was moving and I was literally heartbroken. I'm in college now and I'm currently trying to get over another crush so nothing has really changed about me since then.

[–]Fraeulein 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was around 9 or 10, I was super into my best friend at the time. We had many of the same interests, and she's a very pretty girl. I think she was aware of my feelings towards her, but was uninterested in dating. Which makes sense, since we were both kids lol.

[–]SystemOfADowJones 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

long story!

I was around 15 or 16. I had only dated one person before. When I was a freshman in high school I started dating a senior (accidentally! I jokingly said I was like his gf while we were gaming online, and he took that as a yes lol). I didn't mind because he was nice and definitely a gentleman, that's how it's supposed to be right? We dated for about 9 months, never doing anything more than hugs or holding hands. During that time I was introduced to one of his friends, who was also half-asian and closer to my age. She was super pretty and an amazing artist (I think she's on her way to being an artist for Riot game right now). I didn't think about her again until around a year later when she approached me while I was eating lunch and playing a game on DS. We chatted and realized we had a lot of the same interests, and by coincidence we had a class together the next semester. We sat near each other since we didn't know anyone else in the class. I got to know her even better and I thought she was so cool, and took every opportunity I could to talk to her and text her. She was one of those straight girls who has to have a bf constantly, and one day she came in saying she broke up with her ex and was in that post breakup slump. She offhandedly said, "SystemOfADowJones, why can't I just date you??" as a joke, but that one line changed my world. I realized that I had been crushing on her in a way I had never felt towards any guy.

I was super confused with my feelings after that and one of my male friends confessed to me on a trip and I panicked, telling him I was in a weird spot and wasn't sure if I liked girls or boys. I ended up dating him after a few days of deliberation with the thought process that I could make myself straight if I just tried, telling myself that rule only applied to me since actual gay people exist...I couldn't be one of them! Anyway he ended up essentially being a pornsick incel who somehow was able to get a gf (me) and the relationship was awful. I hated the attempts at sex (I was not into it but tried because I thought that I had to). During the time we dated (mostly LDR) I was at an elite boarding school and had basically no time left for myself after classes and homework. He broke up with me because I couldn't give him the attention he wanted, and by this time I had realized I was only into girls (boarding school will do that to you lol) so it was a relief as I was scared to end it.

Since then I've had multiple crushes on other lesbian/bi friends but have never acted on them, so some things never change. As for the first girl I crushed on she unfortunately got into another relationship soon after that line which lasted a few years, but she broke up with her bf last year to have a poly relationship with a girl she met at art school, ironically. We're still friends who speak occasionally, and sometimes I want to tell her about how she basically changed my life but I probably never will. This was so long my god

[–]VioletRemi[S] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You are magnetted to artistic girls!

[–]33799 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In junior high, my best friend since primary became friends with this girl who had gone to a different elementary school. At first, I hated her and didn't want her to steal my friend and hoped she would just disappear eventually, but she didn't. Over the three years of junior high, I went from hating her, to kinda liking her, to realising, oh shit, this is what it feels like to be totally in love, wow, I'll never feel this way about a guy... because I had always forced myself to think "oh he's not terrible, he's okay I guess" about random guys, and then I realised that liking someone was sooooo not thinking that someone was "okay" and that I definitely wasn't bi.

She was (well, is) tall, very androgynous, definitely not traditionally attractive or even queer/alt attractive, and nothing like the kind of girl teenage me expected to be attracted to. Never told her. I feel so weird about how I regret not telling her, when it was so long ago. And women who look like her are basically non-existent, even if you include NB krazy kweerz.

[–]windrunner 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was in 5th grade (was 10 years old) I had a serious crush on this girl from 7th grade.