How much do you flirt with other women while in a relationship?

sootsprite · 2020-07-27T16:50:45+00:00

I don't think you're expecting too much. I don't really understand her mindset of wanting to keep doing it when she knows it's making you feel hurt and upset. Unfortunately you may not be compatible.

whateverman · 2020-07-27T18:18:40+00:00

I don't. Never will.

Fuckyoucensorship · 2020-07-27T16:34:13+00:00

I'll be honest, my ex made this a point in our relationship that she was flirty. Said nearly verbatim what your gf said.

I'm kind of flirty too so figured it wouldn't be a problem.

It was. It was to the point she'd flirt with people in front of me when drunk and eventually when she was sober, these other people had to field her bad behavior FOR me. I can't count the amount of times the person would awkwardly look to me and grapple me into the conversation.

It was awkward and embarrassing.

She was very firm about it though, that flirting outside the relationship is "normal" it "happens" and even "it was healthy".

Obviously sometimes flirting happens subconsciously. It happens to me when I find someone attractive, I can't help myself. But there's a point where it's disrespectful to your partner.

My biggest mistake was not coming up with a firm line in the sand that was a definite no. A firm boundary where if crossed meant I was done.

VioletRemi · 2020-07-27T16:18:11+00:00

In general it is pretty bad behaviour and may say about harum-scarum personality. Unless she is controlling herself very well.

And if she is asking you to get used to something, always ask something in return!

Personally I am lightly flirting all the time, especially when not in relationship, and even with straight women. I just like doing this. And sometimes I flirt with gay men who know I am lesbian, just to catch some laughs. I am hopeless, I know.

However, I am never flirting heavily when in serious relationship with someone, and if I do, I will say about that beforehand or do that to straight woman to tease my girlfriend.

Buckskin_Suckerpunch · 2020-07-27T19:55:59+00:00

Sounds like you just found out what you don’t want in your next relationship. Set your boundaries and don’t let some one cross them over and over.

Les · 2020-07-27T17:59:05+00:00

Never. I even feel uncomfortable fake flirting with friends when I'm interested in a women, let alone dating her.

Trust your gut. If she tossed your reasonable concerns aside so casually that's not the basis of a healthy relationship.

StrictlyDykley · 2020-07-27T17:18:29+00:00

Only with people I am not into and who are not into me. Not strangers. And only when it’s more funny than not. Flirting with people you don’t know well can cause lots of awkward bullshit if you’re in a relationship, and it’s not a good look.

As an aside, if my gf was uncomfortable with my behaviour I would take her seriously; any behaviour she feels upset or uneasy about. Telling someone to “deal with it” is not loving. It’s really important to discuss things like that with compassion. I would be more concerned about her being flippant toward your concerns than anything.

thecorvidfamilysplit · 2020-07-27T18:18:54+00:00

Only little and when it's said jokingly. I much rather focus on my girlfriend than other people. And I'd be upset too if my gf would continuosly flirt with others. You're definately not expecting too much. It's a bit concerning she's not taking you seriously. You should be able to talk about things like this in a relationship without being told to just get used to it.

oofreesouloo · 2020-07-28T12:03:08+00:00

I don't. If I'm in a relatonship, I will be faithful and I expect the same.

SteppenSlut · 2020-07-28T20:02:21+00:00

If it makes you uncomfortable and you’ve told her this and she doesn’t respect you enough to avoid causing you discomfort in your relationship with her, then that’s a big red flag. Flirting with someone else is taking away flirting with you and making YOU feel loved. As for me, I don’t and would never dream of flirting with anyone except for my girlfriend. I don’t want to, just the thought of it even makes me uncomfortable.

basetenprefix · 2020-07-28T12:58:04+00:00

Not very to not at all. I'm very one person focused, although friendly flirting is fun when you're single (if none of the parties involved are romantically interested) if I have someone in mind already, I don't focus that kind of attention elsewhere.

Like other posters have already mentioned, her reaction/response to your concerns is the most questionable part. Even if you insist on continuing, you don't tell your partner to just "get used to it" when your behavior concerns them. You talk it out.

BigMommyMilkers · 2020-07-28T12:35:05+00:00

I quite enjoy harmless flirting, my gf doesn't like it as it upsets her. So I don't do it - don't feel afraid to set boundaries.

peaked · 2020-07-30T22:30:11+00:00

the title of this post made me feel anxious. listen, bottom line, if you feel hurt and upset she either has to stop or she isn't right for you. in the case that she just "sees things differently", she might not feel happy either not being able to do something she wants to do. so if it's that important to her, then maybe you just aren't cut out for each other and being together would hurt more, especially you since you have to go through seeing this behavior. sorry for being blunt. just remember that your priority has to be yourself and your relationship is supposed to make your life better and not hurt you on a regular basis

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