this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2020

37 points (95% insightful | 5% fun)

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I miss my friend

submitted 3 years ago by [deleted] from self.Lesbians

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[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (3 children)

It sucks to be ghosted when you have no idea where things went wrong. A lot of us have been there. I've ghosted and have been ghosted.

When ghosting someone, it's never been because of something wrong happening in my life. It's almost always been one of a few reasons:

I didn't think explaining my reasoning to them would have been worth it because I didn't think they would listen.
I had already tried expressing what was wrong and they dismissed what I had to say.
My reasons were ultimately shallow and the person would not benefit in any way from knowing why I was ghosting them.

You never need a reason to cut someone off, but I believe there are times when it is better to ghost someone than to tell them exactly why I want to end things. Most of the time, I either simply don't want to hurt another person or I feel that they won't be open to what I have to say.

One thing that more or less helps me accept being ghosted is just saying out loud to myself that it's over. Just a simple "it's over." Everything ends and this is all temporary.

I'm sorry that she's doing this. You can wonder why she's done it, but that's a good way to drive yourself crazy if you can't emotionally distance yourself from it. I would suggest letting yourself close this chapter of your life instead and not worry about what you could have done differently unless she ever comes back with a solid reason.

[–][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children)

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[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (1 child)