all 13 comments

[–]DrMantisToboggan 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's so funny reading a thread on a sub filled with women who think they're actually gay men and try to speak of what the gay male experience is like. I feel like I should be offended, but honestly it's just too laughable.

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Girl, it's just regular homophobia. You know why you find yourself put off by gay men? Because you're a straight woman that has spent more time romanticizing the idea of gay men than you have actually being around gay men, and because you're realizing that you're a straight woman who wants to date a straight man.

I mean, this really isn't that hard. How can people be so dense?

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

She's outraged that gay men consistently fail to conform to the fantasy she has of them, and instead just keep acting like... who they really are.

THE. HORROR.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 12 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 5 fun13 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

A lonely, confused woman with identity issues finds that her most meaningful relationship is a close platonic friendship with another confused woman with identity issues. So like every woman in high school but make it “queer?”

I just find this more sad than anything though I side-eye her judgment of the culture she’s unsuccessfully trying to misappropriate. Queer theory is really rotting vulnerable minds, and making that everyone’s problem. But let’s give a round of applause that she’s found her authentic self.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 11 insightful - 8 fun11 insightful - 7 fun12 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Our relationship is open and nonexclusive, so it wasn't an issue with me bringing this up. Bottom line, I'm happy with my current partner now

pretty low commitment there

[–]Athelhilda4Questioning 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

🙄

[–]stunaep 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Being flirty or loud or a partygoer while being gay is pretty queer in a way, because instead of trying to subvert stereotypes, they embrace those parts of themselves, because they're not inherently bad.

"Being loud, overly sexual, and partying are inherent parts of the gay identity and gay people who aren't like that are suppressing an inherent part of themselves and aren't as gay as gays who do have those qualities."

It's just regular homophobia.

Acting super faggy is a rebellion against transmisogyny and the related idea that gay men should be just like other men.

Holy shit they know. They said it out loud. "Trans women", the actual face of the trans movement, the people that transsexuality was invented for, are just gay guys who can't accept themselves. And this commenter also surely believes that heterosexual transsexuals who don't have naturally feminine mannerisms and voices are inherently no different from homosexual transsexuals, except the heterosexual ones have "internalized transmisogyny" as opposed to just being naturally masculine.

Then on the other side...

It's r/gaytransguys, so we can assume that the vast majority of users there, definitely this commenter, are straight women. This is a continuation of "gays just act 'faggy' on purpose". Heterosexuals are convinced that homosexuals fake their mannerisms and voices, despite the fact that what they see is usually a great attempt to hide said traits. And then of course some straight-leaning bisexuals will jump in and tell these heterosexuals (or in this case, heterosexuals will infiltrate on their own, it's just a problem of their kind convincing themselves they are the same as us and interpreting our identities through their prism) that "yes, I'm the gay(/lez) expert and they're faking it! I also fake it too to fit into the group sometimes, but I don't understand why they put on a voice and act camp 24/7 and I don't respect them for it and neither should you! Gay expert out! Duces my het allies, I'm back to degenerating a community I don't belong in. I'll be back to tell you how horrific they are another time."

A comment I picked to prove my point, but you need only scroll. Keep this pattern in the back of your mind, and you'll see it everywhere:

It does sound homophobic, yes, the problem with faggy "mannerism" is a widespread one in this world, it's common in the LGTB+ community to think gay dudes are super privileged but they way of acting and being is still the butt of the joke. You are definitly allowed to not like them, to not like anyone or to only like "masculine" dudes but please don't equate faggotry with cisness: all those "mannerism" can be displayed by trans dudes. Any of those cis gays could have been transmasc and stealth. You don't have a problem with cis dudes, you have a problem with the "loud-type" gay and that problem is not about they being the dominant culture, it is the other way around

These people don't have a clue what's inherent and what isn't. And their opinions on that change like the wind. If a straight girl likes hanging out with a bunch of campy gay dudes who like to party, it's inherent (because they should all be like that and stop suppressing their inner gay bestie side and be her emotional cum rags and party with her and allow her to sexually harass them. Woooooo girlboss), but then when the gay dudes don't like them, they say it's annoying and they're all faking it and need to stop, and she wants them all to channel their inner manly man side and be her big man so she can be sexually attracted to them.

These people see gays as nothing but something to use. And as soon as gays don't serve them, they lash out with homophobia. The only value gays have to these people is what they can do for them.

[–]On_Wheels 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The only value gays have to these people is what they can do for them.

Amen to that. I'd say it's mostly to gain reputation with other heterosexuals, albeit for TIFs it might have more to do with society's expectations and treatment of women.

They said it out loud. "Trans women", the actual face of the trans movement, the people that transsexuality was invented for, are just gay guys who can't accept themselves.

Took me a while, but I realize it now. She's implying TIMs are just gay men who —like you said— don't accept themselves. She also perceives feminine behavior from them as rebelling against wider society's (righteous) intolerance of their identification. Wonder how common this opinion is there.

[–]stunaep 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

albeit for TIFs it might have more to do with society's expectations and treatment of women.

We're shooting ourselves in the foot by being inconsistent in our rhetoric and giving undeserved sympathy to straight girls who are obsessed with raping gays to the point that they get hormone treatments and surgery over it, and when they realize they can't just move on from their "phase" as they've irreversibly altered their bodies, their resentment only grows. These people are looking for a community to use and abuse.

She also perceives feminine behavior from them as rebelling against wider society's (righteous) intolerance of their identification. Wonder how common this opinion is there.

The majority of heterosexuals believe this.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

These people see gays as nothing but something to use. And as soon as gays don't serve them, they lash out with homophobia. The only value gays have to these people is what they can do for them.

They don't even need to be TiFs to pull this type of shit. In previous jobs, I've been put through attempts at constructive dismissal for not being the "fun" gay and being a stickler for rules by my conservative, Christian manager (another, older, gay man working there who fit the GBF role to a T relayed to me some of the fucked up shit she said about me to him and gave me a crash course on how to deal with it). I've had female friends drop me for having boundaries and for having real needs that need to be addressed, especially financial and housing ones, before I could give them a fun night at a gay bar.

[–]JulienMayfair 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I used to feel a sense of continuity with the various generations, but when it comes to Gen Z, it's like I'm reading something written by neurotic aliens who've just arrived on the planet.

[–]Houseplant 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

“I’m a male sexually attracted to males but I also fucking hate gay men, they are all hyper sexual drunks who call each other girlfraaand and I find them incredibly unsexy and I have a vagina.

Please reaffirm my deluded feelings instead of encouraging me to grow up and accept that I’m not actually what I fetishised”

Honestly idk how gay men aren’t losing their shit at these girls.

[–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

RIP Snappy, I AM THE NEW GOD!

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