Targeting / HarassmentTranswoman on AL has a meltdown over text with woman he hooked up with the night prior after the woman told him she’s not interested.

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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I agree with you guys on this. There is a lot in here that is off on both sides. And it comes across as her playing it coy rather than being ignorant of the minefield that is interacting with trans women. Who in good faith would initiate this conversation by saying they enjoyed the night before, getting someone’s hopes up, and then indicating the exact opposite.

Maybe I missed it but I didn’t see her identify herself as a lesbian. As a lesbian, the only way this could possibly make sense to me that a woman would proceed to have sex with this person is if she’s bisexual and thought, “well, I like men and women and dick and pussy, so I should be into trans women too” and then she goes through with it and realizes the mindfuck, emotional labor, and cognitive dissonance involved, and decides “nope, not for me,” hence saying she’s not pansexual. If she’s been with both men and women, the experience would be akin to being with a man who is super needy, oversensitive, and probably unattractive. Hence her saying it was basically straight sex to her. Because if she’s had sex with women, it would have had absolutely zero in common with that experience.

Why deal with that when you can just be with regular men and regular women and skip the unattractive, draining mental gymnastics? Frankly nearly every woman has more options than that.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Who in good faith would initiate this conversation by saying they enjoyed the night before, getting someone’s hopes up, and then indicating the exact opposite.

That bit seems just sadistic. I had to read that opening a few times trying to track who started the conversation because you'd assume it'd be the MTF, but nope.

Maybe I missed it but I didn’t see her identify herself as a lesbian.

She doesn't seem to identify herself as anything that I saw—there are only a few contextual clues that she's not straight—and yeah, that'd be a strange definition of lesbian if that's how she thinks of herself. Unless we are missing the part where the MTF coerced her and she did it out of fear. That has happened to some lesbians, as we well know, but it sure doesn't seem likely here. She seems to have matters well in hand with respect to...what seems like at least a bit of gaslighting.

Why deal with that when you can just be with regular men and regular women and skip the unattractive, draining mental gymnastics? Frankly nearly every woman has more options than that.

That's what's so weird, here.

In writing my reply to you it occurred to me to wonder if there might be a predator or two flying the GC flag who would actually do something this messed up to another person.

I've met people that predatory. Doesn't quite fit here either, but there's definitely a level of stupid going on that is, in its consequences, malicious. It reminds me of something a narcissistic pothead might do (even lower empathy than while sober—and it is no coincidence that one of the straight women who tried to experiment on me was both narcissistic and fond of weed, i.e. obtuse and disconnected and not emotionally intelligent (doesn't that sound like a fun time? /s)).

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That bit seems just sadistic.

Agreed. That's a very deliberate choice that she made.

She doesn't seem to identify herself as anything that I saw—there are only a few contextual clues that she's not straight—and yeah, that'd be a strange definition of lesbian if that's how she thinks of herself.

Either way, I'm not thrilled that either of these people are apparently in our dating pool :|

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Who in good faith would initiate this conversation by saying they enjoyed the night before, getting someone’s hopes up, and then indicating the exact opposite.

Wow, I did not notice that at first. WTF.