LesbianThe kids think you can somehow be lesbian and also 100% asexual

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[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I genuinely dislike breaking down asexuality into aromanticism and asexuality. It gets stupid when you hear about a heteroromantic asexual person, who also claims to love and seek sex. Or weird label called aegosexual where a person somehow claims to be asexual but they fantasize about sexual stuff but without them being involved. So apparently asexual lesbian is an asexual woman who is homoromantic. To me it sounds like being afraid to embrace being a lesbian fully - I guess it's because how this label tends to be used in porn settings and homosexuality has been always painted as somehow... more severely sexual than being straight? So I guess being asexual lesbian makes this people feel better about themselves? Instead of trying to fight the homophobic myths. Been always a fan of simplicity - people can be gay, bi, straight or asexual. The rest is just Tumblr stuff where straight girls wanna be non-straight with enough mental gymnastics. I'm genuinely tired of these people and make me hate myself. I wouldn't consider myself asexual if not for a fact... no matter what I indeed have no sexual attraction whatsoever.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To me it sounds like being afraid to embrace being a lesbian fully - I guess it's because how this label tends to be used in porn settings and homosexuality has been always painted as somehow... more severely sexual than being straight?

From my observations, it’s the opposite. A woman who calls herself an “asexual lesbian” is already embracing the “lesbian” label, something that lesbians in denial and these days a large swath of out lesbians are reluctant to do. We realize we are lesbians because of our sexual feelings toward women but our sexuality does not look like the porn industry’s idea of “lesbian.”

Who is it that’s calling themselves “asexual lesbians?” It appears more often to be technical straight women who don’t want to be alone but have issues with their attraction to men. They strongly desire to be partnered and reap the benefits of a relationship. Hence they are not actually asexual. The “asexual” label is an excuse for them to avoid pussy and sexual stuff with women who their body is telling them they are not attracted to. They don’t like being in “relationships” with women because to them it’s just being gal pals. All the stereotypes like adopting pets together without the physical.

They ironically are not adverse to the “lesbian” label because they aren’t lesbians and don’t have to internalize any of the shit that comes with being an actual lesbian. Eventually, these women will end up with men, but they are trying to heel themselves with women first.

This is different from women who conceive of themselves as asexual/unable to be attracted to anyone before accepting their exclusive same-sex attraction to women. But those women are not going to simultaneously identify with asexuality and lesbianism because it’s the asexual self-conception that is the cope to avoid accepting factual lesbianism.