Yeah, I think it's pretty strange and coincidental to "suddenly" realize you're gay as soon as your husband "realizes" he's actually a woman. And instead of just saying, "Well, I still love my husband regardless of his outward appearance and it doesn't bother me if he dresses and styles himself like a woman," they think that, and come to the conclusion that because they still love this person who now says he's a woman, that must make them a lesbian.

No doubt that this comes from the sort of mental gymnastics that trans people do like, "Well, I was always a woman, so the whole time you've been with me, I've been a woman."

I know that it's possible and not terribly uncommon for some gay person in denial to enter a heterosexual relationship, get married, and even have kids before waking up and realizing they're gay. But that usually involves leaving the heterosexual relationship. If your husband puts on a dress and grows his hair out and you maintain feelings of sexual attraction to him despite that, you're still straight.