LGB ErasureGay male detrans youtuber Shapeshifter interviewed by Blaire White - 17min version (details in comments)

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[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Flairing this as "LGB Erasure" because that's one of the main themes discussed in the video.

There is a 1hr15min version of this interview available as well.

TLDR: Shapeshifter, who is a youtuber I have never watched before but some of you might know, detransitioned and goes by "he/him" again after undergoing "bottom surgery" and ending up with a host of health problems.

Obligatory "I know a bunch of people here are not Blaire fans, but this is seriously worth a watch." Like for real, this is one of the best detransitioner interviews I've ever seen. I've copied a few of his quotes below if you want a sense of the interview, the whole thing's worth watching.

Fucking heartbreaking. I hope this guy finds peace.

Themes

Some elements of Shape's story that are common detrans experiences:

  • trauma history before trans identification - has extensive childhood trauma (did not describe further)

  • GNC-phobia and sexism - transitioned in order to escape male violence and ("psychologically") to be accepted, because "other men would never accept me as a man" since he is feminine

  • is GNC - enjoys presenting feminine

  • ignored by medical professionals after detransitioning - reached back out to surgeons and doctors, was ignored by all, "they didn't even give me an email"

  • new health problems caused by medical transition - Shape said he now has osteoporosis and scoliosis, which both began after transitioning

  • failed surgery - the neovagina does not even work, and has mostly closed (though he said he has sensation still, unlike the UK detransitioner whose story recently went viral on Twitter and in DailyMail)

  • still has dysphoric fantasies after surgery, just different ones - before surgery, had dreams about not having a dick; after his dick was removed, had dreams about having a dick again

  • alientation - is more alienated from his family now that he is detrans

  • lack of GNC role models - expressed regret that he had no male GNC role models as a child

Quotes

"I'm not a woman, I was always just a man who got suckered into this" (11:00)

"We're just making these greedy surgeons rich. After being through [the] system, the surgeons don't care about us, they really don't. For them, we're just a meal ticket." (11:50)

"Sometimes a bitter truth is better than a sweet lie... I wish someone had just hugged me and said, You're not a woman. You're never gonna be one." (14:10)

Describing someone who had warned him about surgery being dangerous:

"They were telling me the truth, and it's like I wasn't able to hear it, because I was so brainwashed. I was literally convinced I was an actual woman." (14:40)

He discusses how much easier it is to identify as trans than to be a "cis" feminine gay man:

"...I don't know why we're [feminine gay boys] like, the bottom of the barrel, and that sucks."

"Trans is a hot label... feminine boys don't get the same opportunities."

He ends the video by comparing transition surgeries to the lobotomy movement:

"This is lobotomy, of 21st century, you guys heard it first here." (16:40)

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I agree this is heartbreaking and I really do hope this man finds peace.

But I'm a little, I dunno, irritated by comments such as "I wish someone had just hugged me and said, You're not a woman. You're never gonna be one." People are trying to do this all the time, but they get censored/deleted/canceled. I know he was under the spell of a cult before he detransitioned, but it was not unlikely that he would have rabidly lashed out at anyone who tried to legitimately help him.

We need to make it OK for professionals to legally and without fear of losing their licenses push back.

Again, I really do hope this man finds peace. He's brave for speaking up about it.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What bugs me is that he cited at least two instances where people tried to warn him. First was his religious family and then was the bi man who was in an open relationship with another male-to-transsexual who had first hand experience with a partner who had bottom surgery. What more warning do you want?

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Muslim parents living in a Muslim country and dude you are not in a relationship with whose primary concern is your fuckability would not be all that persuasive to most people in this circumstance.