This is what happens when you live your life mostly online in echo chambers.

I find it a little disconcerting given that our acceptance is mostly limited to cutesy "trans girls are valid uwu you're so good at music" posts, but in practice we seem to be othered, like we're welcome in the community so long as we make it obvious to people about who we are.

That's probably because you are generally welcome in the community so long as you don't try to deceive people into dating you. Most people don't have a problem with trans people, they have a problem with deceitful people and would-be rapists. You being trans doesn't mean you're exempt from being considered an asshole.

Also, if you're seeing one thing when you're on TikTok or your safe space Subreddits and you're seeing something completely different when you dare to venture out into the real world, maybe that should clue you in to the fact that the internet and safe spaces are not indicative of the sentiment of the general population.

Is the idea of a penis itself disgusting to some given it's associated with men?

I can't speak for lesbians, but as a gay man, I'm grossed out by the idea of doing anything with a vagina. That doesn't mean that I think vaginas themselves are gross or that women are gross, I'm just turned off by them. Lesbians are not turned on by penises! It's really just that fucking simple. "Lesbian" does not mean "hates men" or "thinks men are all gross" or "is disgusted by penises." Stop defining lesbians by their relation to men!

There's burly men with vaginas out there, but you don't see preferences swinging the other way to dick only for lesbians that often.

There are exactly zero men with vaginas out there, and that sentence doesn't even make sense. If a lesbian sleeps with a delusional woman that calls herself a man, there are no dicks involved whatsoever. Also, the "genital preference" for lesbians will never swing to "dick only."

I don't want to be told I'm valid. I want to be treated like I'm valid.

Well, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other, as they say. If you don't want to be told you're valid, crying on the internet about it is going to have the exact opposite effect. If you want to be treated a certain way by other people then you're in for a real bad time. There are people out there that think I'm a jerk, even though I consider myself to be a fairly decent guy. I wish that no one thought I was a jerk, and I would love it if those people that do think I'm a jerk would treat me like I'm a nice guy, but, and here is the biggest point that I really wish I could hammer into the heads of all these people: you can't force other people to do, think, or say what you want them to and you need to get used to that if you want to live around other people.

Lord, I need to get away from this shit. It's bad for my mental health and overall mood. These people are so infuriating and oblivious and narcissistic and everyone else just validates that, which is even more infuriating. I like staying abreast of what's going on in our community, and I don't want to see the pendulum swing back to gay-bashing again because of these people, but it's just crazy to me that these people exist in real life and live their lives this way.