Men's IssuesWho are the demographic of men who are into TIMs?

submitted by HelloMomo from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]HelloMomo[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, there are personality traits that are considered feminine or masculine. But (at least in my experience) when people are talking about whether a person is generally feminine or masculine, aesthetics are weighted much more heavily than personality. So I'm a little skeptical of Idea #1.

But when I brought that up, I was kinda going off on a tangent. Preferences of masculinity/femininity in other was kinda secondary; I was moreso talking about preferences for masculinity/femininity in oneself. I personally experience both femininity and masculinity as largely random grab-bags of traits, I'm very pick-and-choose with both. For example: I like both sewing and woodworking. I think I'm interested in the both for the same reason: an interest in making stuff. I see these two interests as alike. But one's coded as masculine and one as feminine, and I see that as very arbitrary. I'm then perplexed by people who have an interest in wholesale masculinity or femininity. Like... do your own innate tastes really line up so closely with this random prepackaged collection? But to hear some butch women and very feminine gay men talk about their childhoods, it really looks like for some people, the answer is yes.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm then perplexed by people who have an interest in wholesale masculinity or femininity. Like... do your own innate tastes really line up so closely with this random prepackaged collection? But to hear some butch women and very feminine gay men talk about their childhoods, it really looks like for some people, the answer is yes.

That's a great question. I think there are people who are "all masculine" or "all feminine" because statistically speaking, it's incredibly likely that someone will, by chance alone, happen to like all the activities in a given list of activities. And then there are also people who probably feel pressure to seem "masculine" or "feminine" and adhere to those stereotypes out of some combination of pressure and beliefs about what a "normal" man/woman, or a "normal" gay man/woman, should do or be. (I've met people who identified as LGB who insisted that they were super gender non-conforming... but didn't seem to actually much enjoy the GNC activities they described liking. Some of them seemed to believe that a "real" gay person should be GNC, which is dumb.)

[–]HelloMomo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

there are also people who probably feel pressure to seem "masculine" or "feminine" and adhere to those stereotypes out of some combination of pressure and beliefs about what a "normal" man/woman, or a "normal" gay man/woman,

People who make themselves into a caricature of gay stereotypes right after coming out is a thing.

But I feel like that's very different than the 6-year-old tomboys and femboys who will eventually grow up to be gay but don't yet know it. I've heard stories of people who's gender non-conformity preceded their first crush, so they certainly weren't trying to fit any stereotypes of homosexuality.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

People who make themselves into a caricature of gay stereotypes right after coming out is a thing.

Exactly. That's what I was trying to say.

I've heard stories of people who's gender non-conformity preceded their first crush, so they certainly weren't trying to fit any stereotypes of homosexuality.

Yeah, mine did, or at least the first crush I had that I was aware of. I wouldn't say I adhere to every single masculine stereotype, but I do to a lot of them, I guess. Clothing style and hobbies especially. But then, I've had a couple people on here tell me that I seem more "feminine" in personality so maybe I'm less GNC than I think I am, lol.