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[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I've been gone for almost six months, so my opinion is only worth so much.... but I do think it's time to retire this sub. I think it would be wiser to publish the archive somewhere else (is Ovarit still around?) so it doesn't get lost and straight up delete the sub rather than leave it to the dogs.

This sub was always fairly toxic. Most of the posts consist of mocking mentally ill teenagers and always have. Regular users have repeatedly expressed no interest in political organizing, which is the intended purpose of the sub and the reason our remaining mods volunteered their time and IT expertise.

Assholes and trolls aside, who are too numerous to count, what's the point of this place existing? Trans critical views have gone mainstream online, I can think of several gay groups and communities online where you can talk about your life and also not believe in gender theory. So, what social aspect of this sub that there was is no longer necessary and there are better options available.

Tumbleweedfireflies isn't anyone's servant. She has no obligation to take constant abuse for anyone else's benefit. We can all migrate to other sites, send each other usernames or emails if we want to keep in touch.

Shut it down, basically. We won. Cherish the wonderful memories.

Edit: I was asked to be a mod for this group at one point and turned them down, so I'm part of the problem. I didn't want to deal with the shit the mods get. It's just straight up, non-stop, homophobic and misogynist abuse. Why should anyone have to deal with that in their spare time?

[–]CancelPowerSuper Bi Male 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

This sub was always fairly toxic. Most of the posts consist of mocking mentally ill teenagers and always have. Regular users have repeatedly expressed no interest in political organizing, which is the intended purpose of the sub and the reason our remaining mods volunteered their time and IT expertise.

I'm going to say something about this. I'm a relatively new member, I only joined this forum 3 months ago and although most posts have been great with little to no actual hatred, I noticed that there are a LOT of posts about harmless things. Like, why the hell are there posts about lonely transwomen and transmen talking about their future boyfriends/girlfriends? That's just plain weird. I repeatedly see them here and I just...what the hell? Now, I hate transgenderism and I'm always against it, but I don't exactly hate transgenders and I just don't hate on them for no reason, I posted a bunch of stuff here but they were actual gross things from the trans community like rape, abuse, sexism, delusions...etc not things about "I want my boyfriend to be gentle and talk sweet to me blah blah blah!!" Who cares if no man talks like that? Why are we posting harmless and innocent things?

Just the last week, there was a post about a woman suffering from gender dysphoria lashing out at her own vagina, someone shared it here and some people accused her of "internal misogyny"?? and "encouraging women to hate their genitals"? What the fuck? Why are we making up things? It was just one single harmless vent post and she didn't encourage anyone to hate anything, it's just gender dysphoria. People with genuine gender dysphoria and mental breakdowns should be sympathized with, not mocked and posted here.

2 months ago, there was a venting post about a man who decided to "transition" and he was upset that his girlfriend decided to leave him because of it. It was posted here and some people already accused him of being "controlling" and things like that even though he explained that he understands her decision and he just wanted to vent about it on the internet because...duh, anyone would be upset if their SO leaves them! There was no red flag in his post and yet people mocked and insulted him here. This is just...no, just no! We shouldn't post things just because whoever made them is transgender, we should post things ABOUT transgenders. Normal things shouldn't be mocked.

I think this forum is overall chill and cool, I don't see misandry or misogyny or anything like this, heck I barely see any 4chan-level of hatred against transgenders (like slurs and death threats and stuff) no matter how shitty they are but posts like these, things like this piss me off tbh. I really hope people here stop doing it, it only gives a bad picture about the place.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Why are we posting harmless and innocent things?

I wouldn't call them "harmless"-- the examples you cited are still examples of fetishization of gay men. However, I do tend to agree that they shouldn't be a priority for this sub. There's actual meaningful discussion to be had on these topics; there are a lot of other types of content that would be better suited to stimulate that discussion (better than random Reddit posts with three upvotes). I try to do news posts and information aggregation posts, but those are just a couple types of content.

This topic has come up several times in the past. It's a fair critique, but what would you suggest to improve the situation? What types of content would you recommend, or like to see more of?

[–]CancelPowerSuper Bi Male 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wouldn't call them "harmless"-- the examples you cited are still examples of fetishization of gay men.

But they are harmless. All these posts weren't posted to actual gay male spaces like r/askgaybros, they were posted to their own spaces which is for trans. I have seen too many harmless posts here about transmen and what they want in their boyfriends, and it was posted for no reason other than mocking them and bullying. As a bisexual guy with a preference for guys and had more dates with guys than women, it's true, none of these posts sound like they are made by men mainly because the socialization between men and women is very different BUT why do we care? Who cares if "no actual man talks like this"? It's just...petty, beyond petty actually. It makes us look so desperate to hate on anything. As much as I hate transgenderism, there is nothing wrong with a transman (or a transwoman) posting their dating preferences on the internet, in their own spaces. They shouldn't be mocked or bullied just for this. Now, if that person posted something their dating preferences AND something homophobic like insulting gay men or lesbians for not dating them...Now that's something that deserves to be posted, but that never happened in the posts I'm referring to. They were just innocent and harmless fantasizes. Fetishization? Maybe but frankly? I don't care, and I don't see or understand why would anybody care about stuff like this. There are more and more important things to be posted here.

"What types of content would you recommend, or like to see more of?"

The types of content that show how dangerous and wrong transgenderism is. Abuse, rape, violence, delusions, aggression...etc but frankly? I don't think I care anymore, I think I'm going to stop coming here anyway.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's just...petty, beyond petty actually.

No, what's beyond petty is that the people making those posts believe that the existence of same-sex attracted people is a threat and that we should be banned from all major social media platforms; and now that they've kicked out same-sex attracted people, they're pretending to be us, by conforming to stereotypes that they believe about us. That's not just petty of them to do; that's incredibly hurtful bullying. Now, it's not only entirely possible but likely that many of these people don't realize how much harm they are causing to LGB people. But it is harmful, and it is worth talking about. Is linking to every single low-activity post on r/gaytransLARPers the most useful way to talk about it? I don't think so, and that's where I agree with you.

The types of content that show how dangerous and wrong transgenderism is. Abuse, rape, violence, delusions, aggression...etc but frankly? I don't think I care anymore, I think I'm going to stop coming here anyway.

People in this sub talk about this stuff on the regular. But all right, see ya. A shame, I appreciated your contributions.