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[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I think this is the heart of where we disagree. I don't think a lesbian can be "not a lesbian". Female homosexuals are lesbians whether we ever accept it or not. Whether we want to be part of the "lesbian community" or not.

I want nothing to do with them. Too much of talk about having sex with men. Lesbian doesn't mean any of that anymore.

It was never an attack on you or gold stars, just a defense of non-gold star lesbians.

I never said you attack me, just defend lesbians being fine with having sex with men, like the initial post said. I know you defended lesbians sleeping with men. I never talked about anything you said in that post, at all. YOU brought that up, because YOU have to push having sex with men onto everything and everyone else. YOU haven't stopped talking about having sex with men to me and on my posts. I don't care that you sleep with men, but keep it to yourself, I don't want to hear it. Be around "lesbian" that have sex with men as much as you want, just leave me out of it. You're apart of the problem.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I was trying to have a civil conversation but what I'm not gonna do is put up with YOU trying to say I have sex with men or that I'm part of the problem. I do not have sex with men and I never will again because I've accepted that I'm a lesbian. I am only saying that lesbians are pressured to have sex with men and not everyone is as confident and strong as YOU are to be a gold star. Who does it help to pretend that lesbians aren't under immense pressure to be with men?? That's the root of Lesbophobia, that we are women who don't want to partner with men. I'm not gonna lie or pretend that lesbians don't have to deal with that or say that lesbians who have struggled with that aren't real lesbians, that's bullshit and it only hurts the actual lesbians struggling to accept their homosexuality. YOU are the one acting like dick is some magical thing that'll mark a woman as "not a lesbian" if she's ever interacted with one. Women are allowed to struggle with their sexuality and regret our sexual choices, realize that we aren't attracted to men and move on and accept our actual sexuality. Lesbians are allowed to say dumb shit around other lesbians on our path to accepting ourselves,I don't fault my friends for sharing their internalized homophobia. We are not marked because we've been with men in the past. I'm not saying bisexuals or febfems are lesbians, I'm saying that lesbians have a hard time fully accepting ourselves, not everyone knew they were gay at 15. Some of us have to learn things the hard way, by living and experiencing things and sorting the good from the bad, the societal bs from our actual self.

This is my last reply cus clearly we're not on the same wavelength.

Eta: yes, please do read my replies on the other post and this post! I'm not talking about the joys of having sex with men, I'm talking about how it traumatizes lesbians, why many young lesbians fall into these traumatizing situations and why we should have spaces for lesbians to talk about the reality of this! If we can't discuss the causes and effects of Lesbophobia on lesbians struggling with their sexuality, both internalized and external, in a lesbian community, what's the point of having a lesbian community?? How tf are we ever going to solve these problems and heal our community, if we ignore the reality of what's being done, to who and why?? I'm not going to play pretend that no lesbian has ever felt coerced, by an individual or society at large, to be with a man.

[–]MyLongestJourney 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She is just baiting you in a fight. Just ignore her.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Just so everyone knows the post is still up, and you can see how she brought up lesbian being ok with having sex with men out of nowhere, and how she hasn't stop talking about her and her friends having sex with men to me and on my posts. The original post was about a bisexual woman said there are two types of lesbians, one being fine with being with men, I thought it was bs. Huffle defended it, then a bunch of lesbians said they sleep with men, and are fine with it.