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LifestyleI'm done

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[–]hufflepuff-poet 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I can't speak for anyone else from the other thread but I can say for myself, I didn't mean lesbians can like dick, I just mean that accepting yourself as a lesbian is hard. We live in a patriarchal world that tells girls from birth that their wants, needs and desires are secondary to a man's, that her purpose is to be a man's wife/homemaker/baby factory someday. It is hard to cancel out all that noise and tune into what your body actually wants. It was for me. I shared conversations I've had with other lesbians who were at different places of acceptance themselves, even if I didn't understand where they were coming from or how they could stomach being with a man after they "accepted" they were lesbians, I understand the world that lead to their mindset and I feel like part of being out and proud now means assuring those women that being a lesbian means they don't have to put up with dick, they are allowed to pursue their desires only and not use their body as a public service for any scrote who shows up and shows interest in her.

I don't think you're weird for never having been w a man and for knowing you were gay at a young age. I do think that you're an outlier but not because you're weird, it's because we live in such a lesbophobic hellworld, not many gurls and young women have the confidence to stand firm in their sexual orientation when everyone around them is chipping away at their boundaries. I admire that you and other gold stars do have that confidence --more young lesbians need to see gold star role models so they know they don't have to accept males into their romantic and sexual lives. It's hard to be out and proud as a teenager.

I came out at 15 too, and I couldn't handle it. The only girl I liked got a boyfriend and cut me out of her life, my family and friends gave me hell for being a lesbian and told me it was due to my trauma and that I couldn't really know if I'd never been with anyone before. I crumpled, I doubted myself and ignored my feelings and went back in the closet with the first boy that showed interest in me. Looking back, I regret not trusting myself and staying out, but I don't regret the path I went on that lead me to being out and proud as a lesbian now. That path includes sexual encounters with men, that I'm still trying to heal from, but it also includes my first kiss with a woman, falling in love with my first girlfriend and finally having sex that I wanted to be present for. I'd never regret meeting my first girlfriend or any of the women I've been with since her.

I'm sorry if my reply made you feel like lesbians were supporting the "lesbians can like dick" brigade. I understand lesbians with a history with men is a touchy subject in our community, especially rn with polilez, bi lesbians and male lesbians flooding all of our spaces. I just don't want to shut the door on women who have struggled to accept themselves and embrace their lesbianism without apology or preamble.

Eta: also I think many lesbians who are like my friends use sex with men as a punishment or self-harm. It's not normal to only have sex when you need to be blackout drunk or high or to use sex as a way to dissociate. To me, it's like the lesbians who transition as a form of self-harm, but more passive. She believes she "deserves" to be hurt because she's ashamed of herself and hates her desires.