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[–]juoreally tired woman 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

They never said your feelings weren't valid or that lesbian do dicks as a national sport. It's a talk about something that happened in the past... There's nothing that "slided", people have different experiences in life, don't stop calling yourself a lesbian over that... You're not a freak and you're perfectly fine the way you are, come on.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Athelhilda4: I’ve never thought of it this way, and I agree. Sometimes I feel that the born this way narrative and the stories of gay people who knew they were gay at six year olds has created a culture where late bloomers are met with suspicion. Not everyone has a strong sex drive with obvious attraction.

MyLongestJourney: I do not see any lesbophobia and I belong to the lesbian-repulsed-by-dick category. Care to explain why is it lesbophobic to point out that some lesbians are not repulsed by dick ,it just does nothing for them sexually?

The quick, in a matter of minutes, responses of me saying that lesbians can't be fine with having sex with men, with a wave of saying they've had sex with men, or they don't mind or don't find men repulsive, which got worse when I said I've never been with men, says otherwise. If that community is full of women who have been with men and are fine with it, or who become defensive when a woman is has not been involved with men, if that's what the lesbian community is about, I want nothing to do with them. I'm not going to sleep with men, ever. They won, they can have the word "lesbian." That community is full of women discussing having sex with men, men, and is pointless anyway.

[–]juoreally tired woman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I don't understand the need of finding men repulsive to be a lesbian. That's such a strong word for humans you're clearly not into... It gives them way too much credit. Focus on women instead and don't bother yourself. Overall being a lesbian seems to be about finding women attractive, loving them and ignoring men, isn't it ? You're making it about men yourself by taking in consideration the bullshit of political lesbian and so on imo... Fuck that shit. Celebrate what and who you love. But your frustration is also understable with the actual climate so... I don't know. Hope you'll get to feel better about all that.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don't understand the need of finding men repulsive to be a lesbian. That's such a strong word for humans you're clearly not into... It gives them way too much credit.

This. When I first came out at 15, I wasn't repulsed by guys. I just wasn't attracted to them and was attracted to women. Now I am dick-repulsed but I think that has more to do with forcing myself to be sexual with them despite my body not enjoying it or wanting it and now I have a kneejerk disgust at the thought of even being near a naked man. I went from complete disinterest in men to revulsion because no one would accept my lack of interest until I began to express my revulsion (after forcing myself to "try it out"). Lack of interest/complete disinterest should be enough, women don't have to hate men to want to be with only women. We are allowed to pursue only what we want!!

The lack of attraction to men combined with an attraction to women is all it takes to be a lesbian, if it's just a lack of attraction to men and no attraction to women, she'd be asexual. Straight people are allowed to just not want to be with the same-sex without having to be repulsed by the idea of same-sex genitalia, why can't homosexuals do the same??

[–]juoreally tired woman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Leave it, she's obviously very hurt and angry. I don't blame her, the LGBT community let us all down and "being strong" is damn hard when you feel isolated. Trusting people when all they do is crush your feelings and ideas is very hard. I myself have my angry moments. I am very angry against women in general for letting other women down. Most of them don't care about GNC/homosexual women and they've opened their arms to the TQ+ while being a huge part of it. Fucking she/they. Fucking non binaries. Fucking trans this, trans that. Anything to reject womanhood and spit on the ones holding to it. They broke my heart. Not that men have done anything better, but I don't care about what they think a woman is. I do care about what women think of women tho. Women betraying other women hurts more. It's soul crushing. So I don't know if she feels that kind of hurt, but leave it. Maybe she'll feel better and hear your words later.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The amount of comments of people talking about lesbians having sex with men just proves my point. The lesbian community is this now. I really wished you stop talking about sleeping with men. Take it somewhere else, away from me.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's about being repulsed (pushed away) or turned off by men, and being attracted to women. Febfems aren't lesbians by definition. Lesbians aren't into men, or I thought that's what it meant. If "lesbians" are fine with men, then it's not a group for me. No offense, truly, but you're bi and I don't think you can really understand how this feels to have "your own" tell you you're some kind of outlier, or that lesbians can be with men. You have a bigger group and more people you can relate to, I don't, 'lesbian' have lost all meaning, my community thinks I weird for not being with men, and me saying lesbians aren't fine with sleeping with men is controversial. There's no point anymore. I'm not sleeping with men, I haven't slept with men, the "lesbian" community isn't for me.

[–]juoreally tired woman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not really no, I don't have "a bisexual community" I rely on. And a lot of women who call themselve bi are a fucking joke (no offense to the ladies of the sub, I'm just not impressed with the "i kissed a girl once when i was drunk and enjoyed it so now i'm bi" storyline. don't care about that kind of experiences and never will, fuck that). I do not discuss my female attraction to anybody because I have clearly no trust in LGBT places so... Whatever. You're upset (rightfully) I get it, and I'll never understand you. My point is, you do you and fuck anybody who wants to make you feel like shit because of your homosexuality. I'll leave you alone now.