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[–]MyLongestJourney 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I do not see any lesbophobia and I belong to the lesbian-repulsed-by-dick category. Care to explain why is it lesbophobic to point out that some lesbians are not repulsed by dick ,it just does nothing for them sexually?

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

The two commenters said lesbians can be ok with sleeping with men, which no, lesbians aren't ok with sleeping with men. All lesbians are not attracted to men. It's simple. The fact I have to type this out twice in the span of a couple of minutes shows me this is a bigger problem that I originally thought.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I think part of the problem is for women, especially lesbians, it can be hard to understand what attraction is until you've felt it and named it in your own body. Otherwise it's easy to think you're just not attracted to these men but could be "attracted to/tolerate" some hypothetical man. For some people, attraction can't be understood until it's lived in the body with another person. I think alot of lesbians aren't 100% confident in their sexuality until they've been with a woman and finally understand that "this is what attraction is and how it feels in my body".

[–]Athelhilda4Questioning 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’ve never thought of it this way, and I agree. Sometimes I feel that the born this way narrative and the stories of gay people who knew they were gay at six year olds has created a culture where late bloomers are met with suspicion. Not everyone has a strong sex drive with obvious attraction. For some people, their attraction to the same sex is a whisper that they’re capable of ignoring or dismissing as something else.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This. Heterosexuals are allowed to explore their sexuality without being any less straight. A straight man can hookup with another man or a straight woman can have sex with a woman and when they say it's not their thing and they're actually straight, everyone believes them and moves on. Even gay men are given that freedom to some extent yet if a lesbian has ever been with a man, no matter how long ago or how much she expresses regret or says she didn't enjoy it, she's viewed as tainted and not really a lesbian--despite lesbianism being the most doubted and erased of the monosexual orientations.

Sexuality is a journey that begins in adolescence and continues into adulthood; one of the foundational steps in that journey is accepting one's sexual orientation. Heterosexuality is assumed for everyone, so they are given more freedom but LGBs have to first reject heterosexuality for themselves before they can correctly label their orientation. Many of us find clues to our orientation in hindsight looking back at our feelings as children and teens but not everyone has the answer right away. Not every child or teen experiences attraction or has the tools to name it as such, even in hindsight. I wish we lived in a world where adolescents had more freedom to explore without needing to label themselves and more of a coming of age ritual centered around "coming out" as LGB or Straight after your first serious relationship or another big life event revolving around sexual and romantic experiences. I think it would help with all the confusion so many young folks have around their sexuality.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It just sounds like those are bisexuals again. This just reminds me of homophobes telling lesbians to sleep with both men and women to be a 100% sure. Even if they never had a crush on a woman, the lack of attraction, being uninterested, and the discomfort with men should be present. If they've been interested, attracted, and/or comfortable dating and sleeping with men, they're bi, but they may prefer women.

[–]Athelhilda4Questioning 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You can have sex with people you aren’t sexually attracted to. From personal experience, I can tell you that it is a horrible experience for both participants, but it can and does happen. I’ve noticed that men previously married to women are accepted as having always been gay, but never women.

[–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They did not say that.