RantJust a vent

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

Hey. I've been around TQ+ people all day today and they weren't bad people per say. They were just full of shit about their ideology and would attack you as soon as you'll go against it probably (which probably doesn't make them good person but... yeah). I didn't interfere and let them speak. I was just watching them. Their pronouns did not match their sex of course even tho you could clearly tell they were male/female (i'm trying to stay vague sorry), and what I was thinking all along was, "haha what a joke" while asking myself why were they doing that. And I think they're just really hurt with the way society is imposing gender roles, so they cope by doing that shit. They probably want to run so far away from clichés that they are willing to destroy themselve, and the rights of other people. And to hurt other people. And I try really hard to try to be understanding to let go of my anger, because I just can't forgive people. I can't forgive this world that is doing this on top of everything else. I don't know why. Weirdly enough, even if I can have a good laugh with TQ+, I can't close my eyes on their bullshit. I know I lie when I use their pronouns. "You're lying" says a voice in the back of my head, each and everytime. It's easier to pretend behind a screen when you don't even know what the person looks like. But when you see them... and you absolutely don't believe in what they believe, it's just really hard to not just snap and walk away. I know they're hurt people and shit with a lot of mental issues. I know they're fragile and agressive. But how did this ideology just poison the mind of so many young people. It's impossible to speak against TQ+ to a lot of LGB youngsters or they'll snap. It's impossible to lead a rational discourse about this subject because they want to take everyone feelings in consideration but LGB ones. Especially gay and lesbian people of course, too scared of the straights as usual. I just had to write what I was thinking today, to get it out of my head and to not snap or even try to bring sense to those people. I'm just done, once again, and very tired while they seem so chill with their TQ+ stuffs. Like it's the right thing, and it's normal. It feels very weird to see all that in front of your eyes, in real life, really.

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[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I probably sound like a broken record but literally every time you make a post like this I am just sitting here relating so hard. Especially this:

I know I lie when I use their pronouns. "You're lying" says a voice in the back of my head, each and everytime. It's easier to pretend behind a screen when you don't even know what the person looks like. But when you see them... and you absolutely don't believe in what they believe, it's just really hard to not just snap and walk away.

And this:

It's impossible to speak against TQ+ to a lot of LGB youngsters or they'll snap.

Exactly this. I am dealing with this with some people IRL... I've been trying to broaden my horizons a little bit and connect with more people who are LGB-identified, and it's so, so disheartening to me to see how incredibly brainwashed so many of them are. I made a post about it recently-- the guy in that post is I think straight, but I've had similarly ridiculous conversations with other LGB-identified people.

I just had to write what I was thinking today, to get it out of my head and to not snap or even try to bring sense to those people. I'm just done, once again, and very tired while they seem so chill with their TQ+ stuffs. Like it's the right thing, and it's normal. It feels very weird to see all that in front of your eyes, in real life, really.

I'm glad you did. And yes, it is weird! I feel more sane knowing that I'm not the only one out there dealing with this incredibly frustrating situation (though I'm sorry you are dealing with it, too)!

I will say. You said you're struggling dealing with your anger. I am, too. The mentality I've been moving towards more recently, though, is that it IS completely reasonable for us to be angry!!! Like, really, this stuff is crazy! It's a massive gaslighting operation, it's enough to make anyone go mad (angry or crazy, honestly). My solution has been to try to observe: "Who in my life is giving me energy? Who's actively making me feel drained, angry, and disappointed with the world?" Unfortunately... I realized that one of the people in my life who is (or at least identifies as) LGB, is absolutely making me feel drained-- because I just have to fucking tiptoe around her constantly. I know that she would have this very reaction that you describe:

It's impossible to speak against TQ+ to a lot of LGB youngsters or they'll snap

and honestly I'm just fucking done being around people who make me feel like that, whether because they're a homophobic TRA or because they're a garden variety asshole. This abhorrent belief system, gender identity ideology, is destroying LGB community building efforts in so many macro-level and micro-level ways. I've accepted that this is just going to be one more casualty. Maybe I could've been better friends with her in a different world, or a different time. Not in 2022.

Anyway, again, I appreciate you posting about this and sharing your experience.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My solution has been to try to observe: "Who in my life is giving me energy? Who's actively making me feel drained, angry, and disappointed with the world?"

and

I'm just fucking done being around people who make me feel like that, whether because they're a homophobic TRA or because they're a garden variety asshole

Yes. Stick with this, it will serve you well in life. Here's one of my favorite quotes, by Nikki Giovanni: "There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don't expect you to save the world I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect."

Perhaps when it's yet again a different world after the tide has turned enough, your friend will come around. I can't even contemplate engaging on this topic openly with the vast majority of my friends, of any sexual orientation. Though I expect I will find out that many of them were quietly questioning it all, too. Trouble is, I can't tell who they are and am not really ready to trust them with my openness yet either.

What we're going through here is modern-day McCarthyism.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You don't sound like a broken record, it's the TQ+ ideology that is just staying the same shit. And I'm happy to have someone who gets me, so thank you for being around and reading my vents, means a lot !

I'm not that much around them (except online...) but yeah I have a friend who's fully commited to that BS. That's how I get to see the TQ+ people and to huh, observe and listen to their stupid shit. Which is funny because if the point was to make me more "open-minded" well... That just confirms how stupid I think all of this is. They're just proving right the assholes that actually wants to hurt GNC and homosexual people by trying to pretend they're the opposite gender and shit. Like there's a right way to be a woman or a man. Such a dumb movement...

I don't think I'll cut ties. But I'll tell what is on my mind if a line is crossed. Not to the crew, but just to my friend. And if after that she thinks I'm too mean/cold or whatever, well that's just life. Before that, I don't care. I won't pretend those people are my close mates or anything. I'll just do my own shit and also hang out with normies who don't mind me being who I am.

For the anger part, I don't think it will ever go away to be fair, it's something we have to manage. People are just infuriating in general to be honest and they've always been for so many things I don't even know why I'm still surprised by how badly they can treat each others. That's just... life I guess. Some have it worse, some better but again, it is what it is so we're just bothering ourselves until we learn how to say "ok fuck it" I guess...

But hey overall thank you for reacting, and thank you for being around. I'm sorry all of this shit is also affecting you at work, this shouldn't have it's place anywhere else than tumblr... Please feel free to share how you feel and your thoughs in general, don't isolate yourself and take time away from all of this when you can. I don't know if you can change your work to go somewhere less TQ+-ish...? I know for some work it's pretty hard, and also finding a job is not that easy... But if it's for your mental healt and general well being you could check different places if that's possible. I don't know I'm maybe too naive but I wouldn't want you to lose your mind over those clowns. Anyway... Take care RC and stay safe, again, I'm usually around if you need to vent or empty your mind of what's bothering you.

[–]Chocolatepudding 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really think they're lost or not well or both. My outrage goes to the medical profession who are enabling all this all the way to the bank

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But how did this ideology just poison the mind of so many young people.

The internet made the broad-scale co-mingling of predators and prey possible. Let that marinate for a while and then mix in a lot of immaturity, insecurity, inexperience, and peer pressure, and kids discovering they have the power to unleash mobs, and you get this mess.

And yes, that's a really warped experience to have to go through. I hope you don't have to be around them like that very often, but we're here to bring back the sanity! Sending you hugs.

As for the feeling of lying, I suppose you could just reframe it as compassionate tolerance of struggling people (though generally playing along with delusions would not be the greatest idea, these people are not members of your family that you are somehow responsible for—do what takes care of you). That is still preferable to being abused if you don't play along. You can't win their battles for them and they don't have enough self-control to quietly listen and consider other views, so you aren't safe to engage—don't kick yourself for not jumping on all of those grenades.

On the other hand, we all need to win the policy-capture battles, but there's not much sense in engaging on that topic with cult adherents. Might as well just go bang your head against a wall.

[–]JoeyJoeJoe 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's an ideology of cowardice and regression. You don't change gender norms by role playing the opposite sex & then rehearsing gender stereotypes.

This whole delusional movement has had enough oxygen.

Stop trying to appease the cult & encourage people to be honest with themselves?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ignored the part where I've said they'll snap didn't you.

I'm not particulary feminine myself and I know how people can be shitty to you when you're presenting GNC. So I get where they're coming from even tho I do not condemn any of it. The thing is, I can't force people to open their eyes. Can you ? Did it ever worked out for you ? To shake a young trans person and to tell them to understand they're just a GNC woman/man and that there's nothing wrong with that ? That the pressure of society is something that they need to be aware but to face for themselve and future generations, and that they have to be strong enough to accept who they are instead of falling into this TQ+ cult ? That they're maybe just fucking LGB and that there's also nothing wrong with that ? Go on and tell me how it worked out for you.