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[–]jim_steak 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I mean, she's definitely hyperbolic, but I don't necessarily disagree. I'm not sold on the idea that a child doesn't need a mother and a father to develop normally, and I have heard people who were sperm bank or surrogate children say they felt disconnected and strange compared to other people. It would be one thing if the gay people I've met seemed really invested in the idea of raising a child, but many of the gay people who've told me they wanted to have kids seemed to be approaching it almost as part of a checklist of things you "just do" to have a normal life.

I used to think I wanted to have kids, but the more I thought about it I realized that desire was more about wanting to fit in to society than it actually was about wanting kids, at least for me. There are definitely some gay people who are more seriously committed to the idea of having kids, but even then I would still like to see some long term studies to make sure that normal childhood development still happens in those families.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It would be one thing if the gay people I've met seemed really invested in the idea of raising a child, but many of the gay people who've told me they wanted to have kids seemed to be approaching it almost as part of a checklist of things you "just do" to have a normal life.

While that's not ideal, that's true with a lot of opposite-sex couples too though. And no one has a problem with that... up until the parents literally get into the news cycle for something stupid or bad they did.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There are some horror stories with heterosexual parents. Torturing their own children, abandoning them, and even selling them off into human trafficking. If a same-sex couple can give a child a good and loving home, they can face any troubles that surrogacy and adoption might bring. Every single family on earth has issues, so let's not single out same-sex parents when it comes to this. I think that user is experiencing what they call internalized homophobia.

I believe adoption or taking care of kids in foster care are great options, there are many children that are already here in need of a good home. Most of whom were abandoned by straight people, but let's gloss over that. At the same time I 100% understand that many same-sex couples aren't willing/able to go through all the legal stuff, aren't able to financially go through all that, or it's illegal where they are. If they want to have a kid they can pursue that however they feel is best.