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[–]stunaep[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

While I've been fond of pointing this out in the past as well, let's be real: I wonder if this would even out if heterosexual couples had to go through the same efforts to have a kid. I'm not sure we can credibly compare these two scenarios given that one can "accidentally" happen and the other can't.

Incidentally, the title of that includes "parent-reported."

[–]CleverFoolOfEarth 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

if heterosexual couples had to go through the same efforts to have a kid

There's still no such thing as an in-person opposite-sex relationship that is happy and stable and I fully admit I only defend long-distance ones for the sake of avoiding hypocrisy as I'm currently in one because my boyfriend and we stabilize eachother's mental health. A home with opposite-sex parents cannot be an adequately safe and caring environment for a child because of this lack of equality and thus stability.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm afraid I can't quite make sense of your assertions here, as they sound as dogmatic and disconnected from reality as some of the sentiments of some women on Ovarit.

[–]CleverFoolOfEarth 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

The only stable, happy couple I've ever met full stop was two lesbians I knew in high school. Meanwhile, my (opposite-sex) parents are both dicks to eachother and are really fukken bad at parenting.

I back my ideas with observation and logic.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's what most of us here do. Making a blanket statement that's trivially easy to refute—so easy that it isn't worth the effort to do so—is a perplexing choice.

I'm sorry your parents are dicks, nonetheless.

[–]CleverFoolOfEarth 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry your parents are dicks, nonetheless.

Yeah I'm pretty damn sorry they're dicks too, they're a right pain to put up with.

[–]CancelPowerSuper Bi Male 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Lol, what? Are you saying that heterosexual people aren't happy and no heterosexual relationship is good and stable? Like...what the hell? I hope I'm reading this comment wrong because it just makes literally no sense.

[–]CleverFoolOfEarth 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

What's there not to understand? Due to differences in physical strength and socialization, women cannot even give genuine, uncoerced full consent to sex with men. How could a relationship on such shaky grounds be stable long-term. And mind you, I'm not a lesbian who only understands relationships with males in the theoretical sense, I'm deeply in love with a man and we've been long-distance but exclusive for two years now.

[–]CancelPowerSuper Bi Male 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Due to differences in physical strength and socialization

My ex was stronger than me, so I guess I should tell him that he was raping me all this time? Or does it not count because we are both men? What about all the other homosexual men and women in relationships with somebody stronger? Are they being raped as well because of the "differences in physical strength and socialization"?

I'm sorry but your statement is absolutely ridiculous and insane.

[–]CleverFoolOfEarth 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, I've been recently made aware, an IRL friend of mine found my Saidit account this evening, read through my comments, and sent me an 11-point bulleted list over Discord of why I'm evidently a goddamn moron for thinking like this, that a bunch of the shit I've written here is fucktarded, and that wherever I originally found these ideas is highly suspect and is almost certainly some form of ideological agitation meant to drive people away from reality (It was some website I followed from a link on Tumblr when I was 13, so that honestly is at least within the realm of possibility).

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I wonder if this would even out if heterosexual couples had to go through the same efforts to have a kid.

It's a good question. But because of the nature of same sex attraction, in the long run we'll still probably still see higher values for LGB couples anyway just because of the barriers to access filtering out some people who might've accidentally had kids (and maybe resented them, not had the resources to parent them well, etc.) had they been in an opposite sex relationship.

That said, still a good study to reference, for same purpose that stunaep used it used it for.

Incidentally, the title of that includes "parent-reported."

This is an undervalued observation in psychology research. Parent-report data can be really insightful, but in some contexts it can be incredibly biased. Really depends on what you're asking the parents... such as, "Are your kids abused at home?" Worth pointing out, for sure!

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Really depends on what you're asking the parents... such as, "Are your kids abused at home?"

You found the nail and hit it with a sledgehammer. As someone who, as a child, listened to one of my parents (the abuser) lie to concerned adults who called to ask about my wellbeing, yeah, "parent-reported" isn't something I would take very seriously. Always fun listening to that parent shine them on over the phone, hang up and then go back to abusing me. Chilling AF. (This is also likely why I was informed by said parent that I was was "an embarrassment"—the distress I expressed at school was noteworthy to observers.)

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. You deserved better than that. That is incredibly chilling behavior to witness. Unfortunately, I think the prevalence of situations like that are really underreported... like, people in social work and researchers know it happens, but are probably still way underestimating it. I think many of them just don't realize how manipulative people can really be, and therefore take the parents' claims of good intentions at face value.

Hope you've been able to recover from that messed-up situation. Hurts my heart to know that stuff like that has happened to you, knowing how freaking awesome you are.