I've started pre emptively blocking on the apps. Clears up my grid. From what I've heard HER requires you to state the reason why, but Scruff is no questions asked and has so far allowed me a pretty generous number of blocks. I don't even bother with Grindr. I've yeeted trans people, some lady named Angela who called me handsome with a little heart emoji, married guys, obvious meth users, and other guys I'm just plain not into. I drive trucks now, so I run into lots of people.

Realizing you aren't for everyone is an important part of the dating/hookup app/cruising scene. Sometimes I've been genuinely surprised by people who I consider "out of my league." I wouldn't consider myself ugly, but I have a very large frame, a hairy back, and tend towards being overweight or obese if I'm not careful.

I flat out had a bartender I knew IRL say "hey...I think I'm gonna go with someone else" after I gave him nude pics like he asked for. You know what I did next time I was in his bar? Waved at him, sat down, ordered a drink, and we said hello to each other. He was still as chatty and nice as he was before he decided to take a chance on me on the app. I wasn't his type, maybe he did not want to caress my furry belly. It didn't mean he hated me, and I didn't detect any hate when he backed out of our potential fling.

I agree that referring to people as "rice" or other foods in terms of their ethnicity is fucked up. I don't believe in being insulting to anyone, no not even the trans people on the apps. But damn it you've got to get a thicker skin and realize you just aren't going to do it for some people. People's bodies aren't services you have a "right" to access.