Most specifically queer spaces I’ve been to have been almost entirely women and AFAB non binary people. It’s nice sometimes, but I’m very much a man who loves men and is very knowledgable of and prefers gay male culture. That’s why I seek out more gay men’s spaces. I’d recommend going to more male oriented events/bars etc if possible, I’ve personally never had any issues. Cis gay/bi men have not been transphobic to me despite all the queer women saying they are while excusing their own transphobia and othering.

Translation: straight woman who fetishizes gay men hates being around lesbian and bisexual women who in turn have zero clue how conditioned gay (and some bi) men are into placating straight women.

I feel like I miss out on a lot of cool things being trans and gay and wish so bad to be in cis gay spaces too. I feel like anon stuff and getting sucked off at glory holes are off the table for me mostly. And just the camaraderie.

They should be off the table for you entirely. In these spaces, men expect another man to be on the other side and consent accordingly. You, like any other woman who inserts herself into gay men's spaces, will ruin any "camaraderie" we have by forcing us to self-censor.

I don't pursue it at all; I know had I been born a cis man I would have spent my young adult years partaking in everything cis gay men take for granted.

"Take for granted" is such a funny thing to include. She fails to realize two very important things: (1) that many gay men do not want to participate in certain activities because we are all individuals with our own boundaries and values and (2) that the gay who do want to participate but can't are in that position because, as an actual marginalized class, we are often needing to take on additional jobs just to get by in life and survive.