all 42 comments

[–]chandra 30 insightful - 2 fun30 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Lesbians say 'we don't want to sleep with transwomen,' and TRAs think they're being so clever and reasonable when they dodge the point and say 'stop being crazy, no-one is saying you have to sleep with someone with a penis.' I.e. lesbians are still expected to be open to transwomen who've had fake vagina surgery.

[–]loveSloaneSuperDuperBi 27 insightful - 6 fun27 insightful - 5 fun28 insightful - 6 fun -  (6 children)

It’s crazy because, while I would never sleep with a trans person for several reasons, I would rather sleep with one without a “neovagina”, if for some reason I had to lol. Neovaginas are… idk if I can even use the word I want to use without breaking a rule.

[–]Ladis_Wascheharuum 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, same.

I'm bi, but I don't want to date a trans person for the same reason I won't date someone into MLM or Scientology.

But if I had to, I'd rather have the one that didn't (yet) have horrible disfiguring body mods.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Would you say this is because you distinguish between medically transed individuals and the only self-IDing/pre-transition ones?

[–]loveSloaneSuperDuperBi 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

No, I’d never want to be with either pre or post op. But the idea of interacting at all with a neovagina (or a neophallus for that matter) is genuinely repulsive to me. Not because of how I view trans ideology or trans people at all, but because I “educated myself” about neo genitals and quickly came to the conclusion that both were a hard no for me.

Honestly pre op/no op people are (only slightly) more frustrating than post op people to me, generally. I just would rather have sex with natural genitals

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No, I’d never want to be with either pre or post op. But the idea of interacting at all with a neovagina (or a neophallus for that matter) is genuinely repulsive to me. Not because of how I view trans ideology or trans people at all, but because I “educated myself” about neo genitals and quickly came to the conclusion that both were a hard no for me.

Honestly pre op/no op people are (only slightly) more frustrating than post op people to me, generally. I just would rather have sex with natural genitals

Yeah, I totally get that. I've educated myself too; With google image search. What can be seen with just that is a good enough reason to pass on trans.

[–]MyLongestJourney 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I totally get that. I've educated myself too; With google image search.

What has been seen,can never be unseen.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

highway to nowhere?

[–][deleted] 25 insightful - 5 fun25 insightful - 4 fun26 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

Are these people even capable of telling the truth?

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

There's also the victim blaming, basically he's saying "no trans"woman" believes you have to like dick, but if you did get hate for not liking girl dick, it's your fault for being "rude.""

[–]SerpensInferna 14 insightful - 9 fun14 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

Hashtag be kind! Suck a girldick today to fight twansphobia!

[–]Fusrodamus 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

When a man dictates the terms under which a woman is permitted to reject him, what he's actually doing is reserving the right to declare that rejection invalid (e.g. "rude" or "transphobic") and act accordingly.

He's a rapist.

[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I still hate that we're expected to be nice when rejecting a man. Why am I rude if I tell him to fuck off, but he's not rude for bugging me with his bullshit in the first place? Just doesn't make sense to me. Just pisses me off that men can approach me, invade my personal space, and then somehow I'm the rude one if I tell him to fuck off.

[–]MBMayfair 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

WHOA, Fusrodamus! That is awesome.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Prefect summation is perfect.

[–]MyLongestJourney 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You are not only saying it. You destroyed lesbian's spaces and even individual lesbian's lives for refusing to sleep with you.

[–]julesburm1891 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Arielle Scarcella had a recent video where she finally snapped and broke down one of Kat Blaque’s many screes about her. At one point Blaque claimed no one is telling lesbians to like dick and asked someone to show her a single example. Scarcella offered up Blaque actually went to the site and read pages of people telling us to like dick. He then had the audacity to argue that they were just telling us to fuck off and not very explicitly telling us to suck their dicks.

My point is that you can’t win with these people. You will put clear cut evidence in front of their faces and they’ll pretend it doesn’t exist or that it’s faked or that it has some secret other meaning or that it’s an outlier.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

show them 300 screenshots from boxer ceiling

redditor: oh thats just a few screenshots from twitter

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

I don't support Arielle Scarcella because she promotes the misunderstood stats (without ever citing it) that lesbians are more abusive than everyone else. The report is on same-sex coupled women reporting abusive relationships, but the reason why the stats were so large is because of past male partners, so bisexuals in current same-sex relationships reporting about being abused by past boyfriends/husbands, which makes sense because bi women have high rates of abuse from straight men. She keeps bringing it up and in some of her latest videos she's groveling for men's approval it's so cringy. I'm glad she talks about woke homophobia, but then she says things like that, I really wished her and other right-wing LGB influencers would stop throwing everyone else under the bus.

Edit: the stats that """prove""" lesbians are more abusive, even though it says the opposite- "30.4 percent of same-sex cohabiting women reported being victimized by a !male! partner, whereas 11.4 percent reported being victimized by a female partner. Thus, same-sex cohabiting women were nearly three times more likely to report being victimized by a !male! partner than by a female partner. Moreover, opposite-sex cohabiting women were nearly twice as likely to report being victimized by a !male! partner than were same-sex cohabiting women by a female partner (20.3 percent and 11.4 percent)" 37/62

Pages 6/62 even says: "These findings suggest that lesbian couples experience less intimate partner violence than do heterosexual couples."

[–]julesburm1891 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Absolutely. I’m also not a huge Scarcella fan. I get being frustrated by the woke left, but that doesn’t mean running to the populist right makes sense. It’s an over-correction that just puts you on the other side of the horseshoe. And it also makes it easy for TRAs to smear our genuine grievances as conspiracy theories and right wing propaganda.

It doesn’t help that she’s not great at structured arguments either. She reacts completely emotionally and often wants to use facts to suit her narrative. And the fact that she responds to all criticism with “they hate me because I’m not a leftist” is frustrating. She ought to make an actual rebuttal to criticism. (All of the OnlyFans shit where she pandered to straight guys was weird af too.)

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Arielle is trying to be the lesbian Blaire White. But, even though I have a lot of reservations with Blaire, namely that fact that he has a very, very limp wristed stance on conversion therapy for gay people, Blaire at least has a personality, and can be funny at times. Still homophobic though. Arielle just seems to be dead behind the eyes. I know Arielle's channel was dying, and when she "came out" as a full conservative, the right wing jumped on that and invited her on talk shows. Not many conservative lesbians. I also know she's been struggling with mental health issues, she's talk about it here and there, selling your body online to strangers is a big red flag, and for years now (I used to watch her videos sometimes in middle school and a bit in high school, was never a fan she didn't seem genuine but I was baby gay and there weren't much options at the time) she brought up several times how women wouldn't date her because she's short and has a big nose, watched her current videos and she still says that. I know when people have mental health issues they'll sometimes cope by becoming fixated on one thing. It helps them feel in control of something, or a way to ignore the actual problem. If I'd have to take a wild guess I would say it's both of these. Having a complete turn around of a world view, in such a short time, it's often not a sign of mental stability.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

"I know when people have mental health issues they'll sometimes cope by becoming fixated on one thing"

I can totally say for experience it is true and it does sucks. Its called neuroticism. Probably she also suffer from it. She also seems extremely extroverted and exhibistionist cause I can't understand having to talk about personal problems to thousands of strangers on video and she does make porn videos for men. I had never seen her talking about her dating struggles though. Would assume someone like her would get girls easily even though the dating situation is USA is so bad, she might want a pretty feminine non obese compatible woman who isn't gender nutjob and that's hard for her to get there. She should seriously consider moving to Europe.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

and she does make porn videos for men

I've never seen her porn videos, but she said she couldn't stop them from watching them and they're going to masturbate to her anyway lol. I completely agree that she is an exhibitionist; her videos have always been porny, and she'll always ask those who are with her about their genitals, intimate details about their sex lives, sex toys, and will have them do sexual things on camera. Sure, she could be doing it for clicks, but I believe a non-exhibitionist would stick with a suggestive thumbnail and title rather than everything else she does. Paraphilias can make it difficult to maintain relationships, especially those involving multiple people (exhibitionism often does)it's also uncommon to have only one paraphilia. However, her selling nudes will most likely make having healthy relationships even harder. Dating as a lesbian is difficult enough, but she made it even more difficult. When you sell your body, you are putting a price on your worth, and not many people want to be with someone who gives away their intimacy to strangers, intimacy is very important in romantic relationships, it is not the only thing, but it is important. With fixating on something to cope with mental health issues I think that's why she's suddenly into right-wing politics. I don't know if it's ever been proven but I really believe that politics is a popular thing to fixate on, you can always blame your problems on politics and there is always something new to complain about.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I do agree very much. I'm very sexually attracted to her sexually, physically is totally my type, but could never stay with someone making sexual videos to sell or who talks about her personal life on video to thousands of strangers. That kinda of exhibitionism is a total turn off to me. Being reserved in life is much sexier and does make sexuality hotter than having to show it to the world. It also shows a very attention seeking personality, attention seeking personalities are so dependent on people validation because being at center of attention is so important to them, and since loving yourself is already hard as it is, if you also have a personality who craves people attention that highly, it will be even harder, as you will always see yourself based on what people think of you or how many people adore you, rather than putting your own opinion at the center. Its very sad, but I do have lot of empathy for people struggling with mental health as I have had the same problem all my life. I think having a more normal life away from the spotlight would do her good but she has built her life on youtube and sex videos. The far right ideology and gun praising is clearly a way to seek validation.Having republicans praising her makes her feel good. I mean the anti.TRA activism is brave and she is great for doing it, she could also put herself in danger considering how crazy the TRA's are, but I agree that there is also a need to being validated, to feel worthy.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Its very sad, but I do have lot of empathy for people struggling with mental health as I have had the same problem all my life.

Same here. I've dealt with insomnia since 6th middle school, and ADHD since forever, but I only got help that in high school. The fixation thing is not done on purpose, it's really difficult to separate being genuinely interested in something or if it's a fixation cope. But there definitely is a difference in accountability when they have a platform, and don't do any research on the subjects they talk about. I genuinely believe if she found a gf she would calm down a bit, we should all pitch in and help her fix up her dating profile, if we all put in some effort we could find her a gf lol

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Oh man thanks so much for posting that link. I knew I had seen somewhere that lesbian domestic violence rates were being falsely inflated by the fact that the overall total includes violence by male partners.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Spread it like wildfire. It's really frustrating that it's been accepted as truth that lesbians are the most abusive group, even though the """"evidence"""" literally says the opposite. Now we have people like Arielle, a lesbian influencer, spreading it around even more. I'm willing to bet money she did not look into it for a second before posting her videos to her audience.

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You know I never really watched Arielle's videos but from everything I've heard about her, she sounds like such a dipshit. Imagine being this much of a pickme for males when you're a damn lesbian. Like from what I've heard of her she sounds like she acts the way you'd expect a straight pickme woman desperate for male validation to act. I also heard about her going from liberal to super right-wing nutjob practically overnight. It sounds to me like she doesn't really have many actual opinions of her own. She probably just realized that she was going to lose a lot of her liberal followers when she started criticizing the trans movement so now she's trying to appeal to the Blaire White audience I guess.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

pickme woman desperate for male validation to act

It's even worse when you remember she's in her 30s.`

There are so many conservative and leftist youtubers that talk about doing a complete overnight heel turn of politics like it's "proof" their side is right. It doesn't prove anything other than you have an uncritical, irrational, black and white worldview lol. Then right-wing LGB influencers complain that the LGB community hates them. There have always been right-leaning, centrist, and a-political LGBs they just don't like you guys because you always throw the rest of us under the bus lol. Arielle has talked about how much of the lesbian community has rejected her, like idk Arielle maybe it's because you falsely say we're the most abusive group of people on your YouTube channel lol

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks for clarifying this, Jay! It's always troubled me.

I wonder if it may also reflect counting straight-men-with-ladyfeelz as "lesbians". One of those guys is dating (or, more horrifying yet, married to) a lesbian, and abuses her? Ooh, those lesbians-- they're so abusive! What's their problem with getting all the death and rape threats? Given how VIOLENT they are TO EACH OTHER. Must be totes comfy with it, so feel free to carry on terrorizing 'em, trans-cultists!

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is an interesting point, I wonder what the rate of domestic abuse is in relationships with trans people? The report I linked doesn't bring them up. I've seen stats on gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals but not trans people.

[–]MyLongestJourney 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My point is that you can’t win with these people.

But you can win with the ones who are not fanatic but simple unaware. So keep telling the truth and demonstrating the receipts.

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sure, no one's saying it's transphobic to have a preference. They're just saying it's transphobic to voice that preference.

"Not being rude about it" is literally impossible when you're talking to people who assume every single person that interacts with them is out to get them personally.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Concerned about the # of people on tumblr, reddit, twitter, and dating apps saying that lesbians can have penises and be sexually attracted to penises so I would like to say, on behalf of actual lesbians everywhere, self-proclaimed Dick-having and Dick-loving “Lesbians”: it is ok if you have a penis or want to have sex with someone with a penis. We never said that was lesbophobic or misogynistic, just don’t be rude to actual lesbians about it.

The only reason people get shit from actual lesbians for saying they have a dick or love dick is because they either

A) ARE rude to actual lesbians about it

B) Imply that not all lesbians are homosexual females, there is no meaningful difference between female homosexuality and female bisexuality, and that female homosexuality is not a legitimate sexual orientation worthy of its own name

C) Try to speak for ALL LGB in denying the nature of same-sex attraction

But having a penis or being attracted to penises is not an issue in and of itself.

(Also: "Lesbians, stop trying to speak for all lesbians and listen when I speak on behalf of 'trans sapphics everywhere.'")

[–]MBMayfair 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That last paragraph is what struck me as well. It's mindboggling how that didn't even occur to him.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Honestly, I think that a lot of people-- particularly men-- have never believed there is any such thing as a lesbian... OR a bisexual woman. For real. They think that ALL women are straight. That, to be a woman, everything about you must revolve around men, your sexuality included. Attraction to other women basically doesn't count. After all, sex between women isn't really even sex, right? Just foreplay, at best. Till the real thing (i.e., a dick) comes along.

That's why, whereas bi men are typically dismissed as "really gay", bi women are typically dismissed as "really straight". Just slutty.

I wish that I was making this up.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh 100%. I believe this is how the vast majority of people think. Bi men are really gay. Bi women are really straight. And lesbians just hate men and are simultaneously a porn category for men. And that LGB is all about kink generally. I don’t think most people take the concept of sexual orientation seriously.

And while straight men fetishize lesbianism as a porn category, a lot of straight women fetishize lesbianism as an asexual vacation from men.

[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"You are being irrational. Nobody calls you transphobic for not wanting to sleep with trans women... but you have to accept that you're neither speaking for lesbians, nor are you lesbian. You also don't have a sexual orientation at all, just a genital preference. Oh, and you're not allowed to be rude about it, like.. by saying terfy shit like "no" or something. Understood? Good. Now shut up."

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

The only time they acknowledge the problems of their community is when they deny that they exist.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That’s straight-up how pathological narcissists work. Once you my realize this and have identified someone as a narcissist based on their sustained pattern of behavior, you realize that their denials form a road map of their underlying thoughts and motivations. They always tell on themselves.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would like to say, on behalf of trans sapphics everywhere

Dude, no one individual can speak for their entire demographic that way. And then this man has the gall to turn around and say that homosexual women shouldn't:

c) try to speak for ALL lesbians in not liking dick

Idiot, that's literally what female homosexuality is. Lesbians didn't decide that they are like that, the laws of nature did. God, I swear, the sheer number of people who choose to willfully misunderstand what homosexuality is... If only these people would accept that we exist, and get over it. But then, that is the fundamental obstacle that same sex attracted people have faced since time immemorial, I guess.

[–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

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