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[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I believe there is more to a friendship than just one thing you both like, or one aspect of your characters you both share. And I generally find it a desirable goal nowadays for people to again be able to remain friends even though their opinions regarding some topics are polar opposites. I genuinely hope this is that kind of friendship for you.

But just based on your text, without any background information or knowing you and your friend, it seems like you two are "tolerating" each other. Which sounds straining, to be honest. You have to decide if the basis of your friendship is solid enough to warrant this back and forth. She's obviously not seeing the world the way you do. That's normal but when it comes to a cultish believe like trans ideology, I'd find it hard to even talk about everyday stuff. Because in the end, she believes in gender identity, sexist stereotypes, compelled speech, homosexuals=genital fetishists, male lesbians and so on and so on. At least, that comes with it, even if she doesn't realize that. She must be a damn good friend otherwise for you to put up with this.

I think, the least she could do is to stop the "love-bombing" the moment you do something that she deems "right". That's conditioning. It's belittling and a constant reminder that regardless of every nice things she says, she's always thinking you're doing something wrong. Doesn't hat remind you of all the other "well-meaning" homophobes we've encountered in our lives? "Love the sinner, hate the sin". That's how she sounds like.

Maybe talk about that with her. Make it clear that if she values your friendship, she has to accept that she's believing in something that you do not believe in, and vice versa. No more attempts to convert you. She has to respect that. You're probably not sending her Magdalen Berns videos daily, either. Or start with that to make a point lol

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Besides all this BS she is a really good friend, and I love her. I just can't change, and neither can she so it's sort of doomed. There's no way I will be able to talk calmly about trans things anymore, or express my point of view whitout snapping if someone says something shitty. So I can't even have a discussion with someone who completely disagree from the go, all I will do is snarl. Maybe she'll tolerate me a little bit more, but I have a feeling that it won't last anyway because she's getting more and more involved with her trans crew, so I will be soon a monster to exclude.