That does sound kinda aggravating. And that also sounds like a trope, or at least- could be one. "The Gentle Lesbian"? And softboi is a term I've heard used for gay male characters. I've seen many articles that rightfully call out all the negative tropes that plague lesbians, gay guys, and bisexuals in media, but considerably fewer that call out also common tropes, but which are deemed positive depictions and so rarely have adequate shade being thrown at them. Probably because of the mindset that all apparent positive stereotypes are a good thing.

But they're not; They're annoying. Any depiction that inaccurately portrays or even generalizes a group can eventually become a negative for members of that group. No one likes constantly correcting people on who they are and how they actually function. And no one wants the pressure from having to satisfy other's expectations of them or risk disappointment. But they will have to waste their energy doing either anyway because of the sheer number of people inundated with these fantasies from media. This is why minorities is always on the back foot when it comes to asserting their own identities.

The worst part is, since many people don't like having the entrenched image in their heads being threatened(with the guilt from being wrong), they may fight against it, even going as far as writing off someone's actual identity because their behavior didn't fit the popular stereotype. And validating anyone(e.g. transbians) who claims that identity just because they did fit it. But that's only because they poisoned their perceptions by obsessively over-watching(studying?) media with these stereotypes in order to act them out.

That reminds me something a user here told me about a bi character from a TV police procedural. A show regular who had the orientation written onto them in later seasons to spice things up, but the writers didn't actually understand bisexuality so they didn't really know what to do with them. So they turned him into some Zen-Buddhist monk type of enlightened soul and that's why he was(of course), open-minded to doing anyone. Because that's exactly how it works..