So, dear heterosexual ‘queers’, I’d like you to do two things for me. First, imagine if white people blacked themselves up, called themselves the n-word and rewrote the history and culture of black people (in all its myriad manifestations over thousands of years) to be in line with portrayals in 19th-century minstrel shows. Second, bugger off, bugger off further than that, and then keep buggering off. (But don’t worry – you won’t have to do any actual buggering.)

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