Yeah, "born this way" never really sat right with me, either. Partly due to (as you point out) the fact that it's been treated like a fashion statement, which reeks of shallowness and is thus far more compatible with gender-woo-ery than sexual orientation... but also because of the unspoken implications.

It's always seemed to me that underlying the supposedly-proud assertion "I was born this way" is a very different sentiment: "... so I can't help it." Which, of course, indicates that you should "help it"-- that it's something to BE "helped". And the only reason you're not expected to... is that you're incapable of it. You know... like a disability, or something.

Now, is that insulting to gay people, or what? Not to mention implicitly threatening to bisexuals: since we in fact are opposite-sex-attracted, well, then... we CAN "help it", can't we? Having those oh-so-improper homoerotic feelings? So why don't we "just" repress 'em and only act on the ones which have the societal seal of approval? And if we fail to straightwash ourselves... that must mean we're CHOOSING to be "perverse". Because (unlike gay people) we have "no excuse". I don't like where this is going, do you?

So, yeah... I definitely prefer the same-sex-attraction-is-just-a-fact approach: not magical, not shameful, neither an occasion for boasting nor begging. Our sexuality being an accepted part of us, without being ALL of us. Why the hell can't we have that?