Sex & IntimacyNo one's fully gay or straight, folks!!!!

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[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There probably is a decent number of straight people who are actually bi and just chose to not act on it for a variety of reasons, but I don't think it really matters. If they don't want to act on their bisexuality and just live life as if they're straight then that's their choice and no one else gets a say in it or should judge them for it. However, the vast majority of people on the planet are exclusively straight.

I don't think there's any significant number of gay men or lesbians who are secretly bi because life and society puts so much pressure on people to have straight relationships. Those of us who are homosexual are pretty damn sure we're exclusively homosexual considering we've been told all our lives to have relationships with the opposite sex.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 14 insightful - 10 fun14 insightful - 9 fun15 insightful - 10 fun -  (1 child)

It's an extreme/absolutist statement but there's some truth to it. I identify as a gay man, am married to another man (will likely always be married to him though goddam he pissed me off yesterday fucking pay attention to what you're doing when you're doing light handyman tasks but I digress). Most of my sexual fantasies involve men. But occasionally I do find myself attracted to a woman. It's fleeting and rare but it does happen.

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Some truth to it, for you.

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I wish bisexual and bicurious people would just stick to speaking on behalf of their own community. Your understanding of your own sexuality changing doesn't mean the sexuality of everyone else is up for debate. Telling homosexuals we don't actually know our own lived experiences is very condescending.

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That first half kinda aligns with something I've sometimes thought. The term bi is really broad. Way broader than any other sexuality. It includes people of both sexes, with varying ratios of attraction, who have various primary relationships in their life. So I'd be curious to hear from a bi person: do you feel like other bi people in general are... meaningfully similar to you, I guess? Or are the people who you feel like are like you a smaller subset of bi people?

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

In my experience, most of the outwardly bisexual people I've spoken to are either 50/50 or they tend to prefer the opposite sex, and because of it, I find the overall bisexual community to be fairly alienating. Personally, I don't relate to most bi people at all except for the febfem community and other bi women who are open about their strong preference for women.

I would say I fluctuate between 70-99.9% attracted to women, so I would just say I'm like 85% gay overall. The other 15%.... more trouble than it's worth haha. Not worth my time lmao

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly, concerning anyone who falls on the more extreme ends of the spectrum, with almost no attraction to one sex or the other; I relate to them perhaps about as much as to a straight or gay person. It's significant, but it won't be as much as someone who more equally talks about their attraction to both; That much is clear to me by now. Also, the female experience is extremely different from the male one(duh), so that'll factor in heavily too. But a female bisexual actually having these equally-weighted attractions can somewhat mitigate the natural gulf of relatability from them being the opposite sex. And even their intrinsic degree of gender conformity can affect it too, among other things.

Bear in mind that relating to someone doesn't necessarily overlap with attraction, though. Two people can relate to one another strongly but still be weakly compatible; But that's another subject entirely.

[–]iamonlyoneman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The super sexuals would disagree

[–]Mikulbleu 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think at the end of the day people need to butt out of others’ sexuality. Sexual attraction is a very personal experience, I feel very uncomfortable when other people tell me what I am or what I should feel, but then again narcissistic entitlement has no boundaries so why am I surprised?