Lifestylepsychological consequences

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

I was wondering if that whole LGBTQ+++ as deeply affected some of you psychologically, if that alterned your vision of the world or if that's more difficult overall to feel happy again ? I know it did for me, because I don't feel really welcome in a lot of place I enjoyed to go, and I'm wary of people because I don't want to deal with anything TQ+++ related with anybody.

I guess it's pretty petty of me, and I wondered if I was being childish or too spoiled in a world were so much shit is going on. I'd like to be less affected by this, because it's a ridiculous situation. I'm here complaining and feeling down about that in the comfort of my home while I could be enjoying my life, even whitout the "fun places" I knew. I probably don't know how to move on. Hoping that things will get better is a thing, but not letting go of what's deeply corrupted for now is a real struggle for me. I feel like the "they don't know" meme all the time and this is just stupid.

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[–]Q-Continuum-kin 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think that I'm not particularly affected too bad.

The thing with me is I find there's no good middle area for dating or friends. You can go on Grindr purely for hookups and people on there largely won't bother with or understand the modern gender BS. Even many who present as trans there don't use the proper woke terminology. I'm not someone who seeks out sex or hookups though. I used to make use of online dating sites and met a few people who I ended up being friends with. At the time I was a bit too self aware that I was socially awkward and didn't want to force someone to deal with that in a relationship. Being friends was manageable but i would just make it clear that I wasn't going to date anyone.

Now i think I'm ready but all these dating sites like OkCupid have converted into this awful app based "swipe left/right" shit. I used to love OkCupid and could start up conversion with random strangers. Now they basically wipes out that whole social aspect and it's almost entirely based off of matching on swipes.

Then anyone who isn't purely looking for hookups and who could be conversation or friend material is ultra performatively woke. I don't actually want to deal with someone who is going to try and report my account for refusing to do pronouns or not taking enbys seriously or just saying homosexuality is real... Even though those same people would never date a ftm but attack others for saying it out loud. I don't actually want to talk about any of this gender stuff but it always comes up somehow.

I end up only talking to right leaning people because they are far more open to conversation even when we disagree on everything. The ones who think they are left but really just right wing neocon liberals are just completely obnoxious with the refusal to engage with viewpoints which are deemed xyz-phobic.

I do have a few friends who are basically left leaning without care of the liberal BS but it's rare for people to say it out loud and even then everyone needs to self censor in larger social circles because the morality police will come after you.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The main way it affects me on a personal level is that it has drastically reduced my dating pool - I am most attracted to butch/GNC women, and it's extremely rare to find ones who don't identify as NB or trans men these days. That's probably the most depressing part in terms of my personal life. It's also frustrating having to censor myself about my real views on TRA ideology in many circles.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes. I relate so much to your post. It has worn me down and made me feel both helpless and hopeless about the world. It's disheartening to see so many people around me buy into a homophobic ideology that is completely delusional-- transgender ideology. I made a post about this recently.

I don't think it's petty of you at all. LGB and GNC people-- kids, teens, adults-- are feeling pressured to pump hormones into their otherwise healthy bodies and chop off organs just because they don't match up with society's idea of what a "real man" or "real woman" should look like, act like, feel like. It's the old homophobic belief, brought to life all around us: "A gay man is actually a woman in a man's body; a lesbian woman is actually a man in a woman's body." So many lives are being harmed by this lie :( of course it will affect LGB/GNC people deeply. It sure has affected me deeply, at least. And it's destroyed my trust in so many straight people who I thought were "allies." They fancy themselves saviors but in attempting to "save" LGB and GNC people with drugs and unnecessary surgeries, they have only harmed our people more.

Always down to talk more about this topic. It's really hit me hard the last three or four months... I used to be super active on saidit, but now I really struggle with getting the motivation to talk about these topics-- or motivation for much of anything, really-- because it makes me feel so hopeless.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah... I try to come here less often too, or to even stop being so "critical". Now when anything unpleasant concerning TQ+ happens, I just feel deeply sad, but don't engage with it. I let it slide, and move on. I think that what hurt the most, is how people managed to eat all that shit up so fast. Now they firmly believe that you're closed minded if you're not accepting enough of pure nonsense. They treat you like a mean asshole for standing your ground. And you can't rest and truly avoid TQ+ stuff anymore either, so you have to just accept it exist and learn to live with it. People you though would stand for you won't, because they're progressive and we're "gatekeeping" or whatever. That's so strange.

Anyway if you need to talk or anything, my DMs are open, feel free to reach ! I could also truly use the company. Even if we just exchange sob-stories everytime :') it would feel less lonely.