Colonizationr/gaytransguys - Why don’t gay men send me cute emojis and tell me how they want to hold my hand on Grindr?

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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 37 insightful - 5 fun37 insightful - 4 fun38 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

This reads like she expects the men to initiate the conversations and she's just waiting to respond. There's no indication she's taking any initiative other than setting up her profile. Classic (heterosexual) female socialization. She's expecting to be treated and courted like a woman while basing her identity on not being one.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 28 insightful - 8 fun28 insightful - 7 fun29 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Seriously: no clue how men socialize. But, really, I'm an honest and true, authentic gay man!

[–]julesburm1891 26 insightful - 7 fun26 insightful - 6 fun27 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Bitch, you’re on Grindr. They’re just looking to hook up with actual dudes.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I find that this type of woman just likes to complain about men. Why they choose to "become" one is way fucking beyond me. Look at /XxChrom and /women it is full of man-haters.

Back in my day ladies told men they were lesbian if they weren't interested (still didn't always work) but now they just "become men" themselves, "gay" ones at that. Wtf???

[–][deleted] 27 insightful - 4 fun27 insightful - 3 fun28 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

What's that? Gay men don't act like the fantasies in your erotica that's written by straight women for straight women? Oh no, what ever will you do!?

WTF did she expect? She acts like a straight woman and then gets mad at gay men for acting like gay men. I can't stand when women try to play the game of acting uninterested and forcing the other person to do fucking everything to keep the conversation going. Like fuck, you have to be interesting too, you can't just sit there and look pretty and expect to put in literally no fucking effort into winning over the other person.

I'm sure gay men like it even less since they aren't even interested in women that way to begin with.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 27 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 2 fun28 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

But holy shit these men are so boring. I have a full profile with my intrests listed, different questions or prompts, and that I am looking for a serious relationship.

Her interests based on her other posts: KPop, The Sims, and teen dramas. And even with the one she could actually be productive with, she doesn't make her own content (either mods/CC or stories). Her entire life is just consuming the work of others. She is a boring person projecting her insecurities onto gay men.

Despite that the only messages I get are ten different variations of "hey". Now, if I'm intrested in them I will respond to ask them a question, but I am confused as to why they seem to put in such a low amount of effort.

It's called playing it cool. Most messages beyond a quick hello always come across as creepy and unhinged. Part of having such a small dating pool is that it's really easy to memorize who gives off red flags- the axe may forget, but the tree will always remember.

Yes it's incredibly normal and incredibly sad. That being said you can find some amazing people! Just gotta search for the needle in the gay stack

Maybe don't look in the gay stack if you have a vag, sweetie. You girls have an entire world of heterosexual men to choose from. Grindr isn't the space where you can claim victimhood.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah[S] 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I think KPop has played a huge part in the explosion of uwu smol transbois. A substantial percentage of the male stars are most likely gay and the only way they can dream of being swept up in their arms is by becoming gay men themselves. On the Boxer Ceiling Google photos archive a substantial percentage of teen girls hating on "cisgays" appear to be east Asian.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

These women base their entire sense of being "male" off of mass-marketed images of men directed at them for their consumption.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That would explain a lot. Kpop men are also made very pretty with make up and even plastic surgery because they cater to girls. So when those girls still look like a woman and wear make up they think they look like men because Kpop.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 23 insightful - 6 fun23 insightful - 5 fun24 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

So I recently downloaded some dating apps to get back in the game. I finally feel ready to meet someone a year after starting my transition. But holy shit these men are so boring. I have a full profile with my intrests listed, different questions or prompts, and that I am looking for a serious relationship. Despite that the only messages I get are ten different variations of "hey". Now, if I'm intrested in them I will respond to ask them a question, but I am confused as to why they seem to put in such a low amount of effort. I am quite baffled since I mostly recieved at least a full sentence when I was dating pre-transition. Are they just looking for sex, is that why? Or is this a common pattern in gay dating? Please help me.

Men courting women act differently than men courting other men?! Whodda thunk it 😱

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

its like, science

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 10 fun20 insightful - 9 fun21 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

LMAO! I'm sorry GB bros, but her perception is just way too damn hilarious for me.

She "got a sentence" from straight dudes, and doesn't understand why there's an even lower amount of effort from MLM?

Golly, I wonder why.

[–]Mermer 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

God, I'm so sick of "sex bad, romance good" narrative. Imo wanting someone for their body to satisfy a natural need and desire (and being honest about it) is waaaaay less toxic than burdening someone with your unrealistic expectations of some magical feeling they're supposed to feel and on top of it putting the weight of your self-esteem on them.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I am quite baffled since I mostly recieved at least a full sentence when I was dating pre-transition. Are they just looking for sex, is that why?

Let's do some detective work, binky. Pre transition, when you as a guy mysteriously looked female, men thought to get your intention they would have to talk to you since women folk like that stuff for some reason. Then when you became a guy they realized they could short cut it into your pants.

[–]pacsatonifil 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She is such a woman. Just like my trans friend. I treat her like a man and it’s emotions and talking about feelings. So I just treat her like any woman and drop the correct pronoun and she is happy.