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[–]jiljol 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Funny how transgender people stating their boundaries ("don't call me this", "don't touch me there", etc) is considered sacrosanct, but when gay people state our "boundaries" (actually just our homosexuality) it becomes an invitation to try and tear them down.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Compelling people to use pronouns that don't reflect one's sex isn't setting a boundary, though. Boundaries by definition can only be defensive. The only way way something like this could be truly defensive, self-protective establishment of boundaries would be like if the trans-identified person decided that they wouldn't be friends with someone who didn't use their preferred pronouns. That's completely their prerogative. Compelled speech isn't.

Also, "don't touch me there" isn't analogous to "don't call me that". "Don't touch me there" doesn't necessitate that the person touches you elsewhere; they can just not touch you at all. But "don't call me that" does necessitate that people call you something else.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Boundaries by definition can only be defensive.

Such a simple statement, but honestly that's so true and I think that's at the heart of many people's misunderstandings over the word "boundary".