Transing ChildrenWhat I’ve Learned Rescuing My Daughter From Her Transgender Fantasy

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[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

But this isn’t a cautionary tale. It’s a warning.

What? That's literally what a cautionary tale is. I hate to nitpick lol, but seriously.

She came home with a whole new language. She and all her girlfriends discussed their labels—polyamorous, lesbian, pansexual. None of the five girls chose “basic,” their term for a straight girl.

These girls were taught homophobic drivel. "Being gay is different and special!" Liberals' benevolent homophobia only harms LGB people. And harms these (probably mostly straight, by the odds) kids by pressuring them to hide their real sexual orientations, apparently.

Also.. the article is decent overall, but it is pretty vague and lacks logical reasoning at many points where it might've benefitted from it. Like this, for example:

She came home with a whole new language. She and all her girlfriends discussed their labels—polyamorous, lesbian, pansexual. None of the five girls chose “basic,” their term for a straight girl.

Now, I was worried.

Ok, fine, but can you please explain more clearly why you are worried? I think many parents would be reasonably worried about this because they'd recognize the social contagion factor at play. But without such explanation, this sort of language is sometimes indicative of fearmongering.

Also... this parent sounds extremely controlling. If her proposed solutions really worked for her, then great, but honestly, I don't think it'd work with most gender dysphoric teens to just force them to listen to GC podcasts on the way to school... that doesn't sound like an effective way to build a relationship of mutual respect. I hate to be cynical but I kinda wonder if the kid just kept up her hobbies but remained way more secretive about them. IDK. We had a similar post that sparked great discussion a few weeks back and several of us agreed that the mother's response in that essay also seemed unreasonable.

edit:

I wanted to add some notes from another comment I made about how, exactly, the parent is acting in an "extremely controlling" manner, and in my opinion, abusively. I am not saying that this parent doesn't care about her daughter, or that she is a bad person; rather, I'm saying that some of the specific actions she's taken to deal with this situation are harmful actions.

Here are two examples of abusive behaviors that the parent in this article engaged in:

1 - Isolated her daughter from all the daughter's peers. -- The mother denies her child any autonomy or freedom in choosing her friends, cutting her off from almost all of them while not opening up any new avenues for the child to make friends with other kids who aren't so into gender identity theory.

Quote:

I went nuclear. I took the phone and stripped it of all social media—YouTube, Instagram, Discord, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter. I even blocked her ability to get to the internet. I deleted all of her contacts and changed her phone number.

What I'm wondering: If I were this child, would this convince me that I need to change my ways? Or would I re-contact all those friends who I got cut off from, once I turned 18 and left the house? ...And then maybe resume my plans to medically transition?

2 - Forced her daughter to consume the media that the parent thinks is right. -- This isn't any better than forcing your child to sit in the car and listen to fundamentalist Christian teachings or crackpot conspiracy theories. The parent is using the fact that she is the child's primary caregiver as leverage to force her child, a teen in the process of developing into her own person, to do something she wants. Even if the thing the parent's forcing her to do is the right thing, the behavior itself is coercive and founded on the power of threat. And threat is no basis for a caring relationship, regardless of whether the person making the threats actually does feel caring on the inside!

Quote:

I forced my daughter to listen to specific podcasts on the subject while driving her to school.

What I'm wondering: If I were this child, would I feel that my parent cares about me as they force me to consume media that they think is important, against my protests?

Above all... let me ask... Are these long-term solutions, that the parent has implemented? I think not.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I’m with you on your take. I respect that it is difficult to have a child caught up in the gender trend but there are a lot of red and yellow flags in this mom’s write-up. Despite the title, the mom doesn’t seem to have learned all that much. This is not the perspective of someone who wants to understand and empathize with her child or who was curious about the underlying pain the child was undergoing that caused her to latch on to a gender solution. Somehow I don’t think if her daughter ended up desisting and coming out as a butch lesbian or a particularly masculine straight girl, she would have considered that a success.

My daughter is finally returning to her authentic self — A beautiful, artsy, kind, and loving daughter.

It’s hard to pin down exactly what irks me here, and it’s not just this sentence, but this sentence in the context of the rest of the article. It seems that she’s defining the girl’s “authentic self” as an obedient daughter.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It seems that she’s defining the girl’s “authentic self” as an obedient daughter.

She's dictating her daughter's personality to her. She seems to mostly ignore her daughter and to have little empathy for her. Her daughter is going to rebel against her. Guaranteed.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, this definitely reads as the mother prescribing to her daughter the way she ought to be to please her. There is so much disdain in here. Yes, gender nonsense is ridiculous and makes no sense to those of us who have taken the time to follow it to its logical conclusions, but her child is steeped in it, trying to develop a sense of belonging, and give some meaning to her life. This wasn't written to be educational to anyone, but to shame her daughter and gloat about it. She doesn't seem to care that she actually learned next to nothing about her daughter, and yes this will obviously result in further rebellion out of the mother's sight.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, and for what it's worth I do detect an undercurrent of homophobia in the mother. Another instance of reading too much into tone, but "artsy" bothered me.

Poor girl, she's going to have problems for years.