Transing ChildrenWhat I’ve Learned Rescuing My Daughter From Her Transgender Fantasy

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[–]jim_steak 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Assuming this is true, where is the mom's self reflection on her role in this? Nowhere in her "solution" for her daughter's gender dysphoria does she try talking to her daughter and understanding what she's going through - instead it's all about control. Nowhere does she consider why her daughter has such a negative relationship with her body, or why she might be suicidal. Why is her happy, loving daughter getting sucked into sexually inappropriate spaces, threatening suicide, and wanting to transition, and more importantly, why doesn't she feel comfortable going to her mom with these issues? The mom assumes her daughter is "authentically feminine", but it doesn't seem like the daughter actually has a choice at all.

I don't think transitioning is a good solution for the daughter's underlying issues, but the mom's reaction seems abusive to me, and I have to wonder where the underlying problems actually originated.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

So you've never seen these groomers blame parents for all the totally normal feelings teens have and turn the kids into little shits?

I do think some of this seems extreme but if you want to reflect on parental roles do it with your own kids. Just because it wasn't stated in this article doesn't mean the mom didn't consider that.

Clearly the problems came from social media and the losers she goes to school with. It isn't always mommy and daddy's fault.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yes many youths today are over-invested into social media and pop culture. This is very short term typical hardcore conservative parenting that never works out in the end because the kid will just eventually rebel. She literally cut her off from her friends, hobbies and any social interaction has to be approved by her. You think that is going to endear love?

The thing is all of these people do have real issues. People over overly using the concept of being trans to deal with maybe feeling they don't fit into an ideal, they dislike their body, they feel insecure about their position in society, feel no one will like them, need an escape and goes on and on. The mom has just basically cut out the coping mechanism but hasn't actually dealt with the issue.

It's the same as every other issue within society the opioidid epidemic, violence within our society, alcoholism etc take your pick. Though yes media is the reason why people get into bad behaviors, cults or addictive substances. There is no social underlying reasons. Sorry this is lazy parenting and when the government is involved it's just lazy fear mongering policy making.

The only thing I can agree is kids shouldn't have access to social media but cutting her from her hobbies and friends is way too far. Even then I think in this world especially grappled by CoVid there probably need to be services safe for teens and kids to interact because some people just have trouble fitting in at school and need a place socially where they can blow off steam. They just shouldn't be exposed to twitter and all the idiots on there.

[–]Chipit[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is very short term typical hardcore conservative parenting that never works out in the end because the kid will just eventually rebel.

[citation needed]

I think selection bias is in effect here. As in, the only ones you ever heard from are the ones who did that.

The rest, who had a positive parental intervention to remove them from a path of villainy, you never hear from again.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

[Citation needed] this works.

As someone who grew up in that culture, knew others from Muslim families, Conservative Christian ones and seeing all those Catholic/Protestant kids whining about their past online I think I am solid in this opinion. You can call it selection bias but I know this if my parents did such a thing to me it would just endear ire. You don't just rip away everything you like, ban people outside of the family that you care about in the name some vague cause you don't understand especially since the parent likely was overly hands off before then.

The mentality this mom has is literally no different than the Conservative right panics of the 80s and 90s and you know what they got out of that? A complete erosion of whatever social power they had. You can't act like a dictator now when your culture isn't dominant. Unless she plans to keep her home as a total NEET she is going to likely go get some form of higher education or trade and be exposed to all of this again. She likely is already is at school. You need to have a firm grounding in your beliefs not Mom controlling everything you do up to the age of 18. You have to make a conscious choice regarding what you believe.

Plus it's kinda weird to post this kind of post on this subreddit when the mom could have an issue with her kid even experimenting with the same sex too just saying (is it she doens't believe in pansexuality or she doesn't want her daughter kissing girls). This isn't just a trans issue.

Tons of other people are able to engage in what this girl is and not want to inject tons of life changing hormones so what actually is the problem here? Some deep seeded that isn't going to be addressed and the kid probably is going to rebel once she gets some actual freedom.

It's not a positive intervention. She was a dumb hands off parent before this and now she is just acting like a dictator two extremes that aren't providing actual guidance nor building of any sort of relationship with her child. If she actually gives a shit what she does after she leaves home then both approaches are pretty bad.

[–]jim_steak 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The article is recommending parenting techniques to rescue kids from transgenderism, so you have to reflect on her parenting to respond to the article. The things she's advocating for are based on controlling her daughter's behavior rather than trying to understand what's causing the behavior, and she doesn't seem very empathetic to her daughter's point of view (at one point she literally compares her to a drug addict).

I think what the daughter saw on social media and in school affected how she expressed her feelings, but I think the underlying feelings of depression, discomfort with her body, and suicidality came from someplace else.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

So would you rather a parent be too hard on the kid potentially or let her cut her tits off and sew her vagina up? That is what these morons are doing now.

Not under my roof is the correct response of any sane parent and hell yes cut ties with some little pervert that sent a masterbation video AKA kiddie porn. Have you met these losers? They are addicted to internet porn and are insanely self absorbed.

Anyway, in a few years this kid can move out and pay for his/her own bullshit and start grooming high schoolers too.

I would say the same thing to little girls wearing tons of makeup and acting slutty online I would end that instantly for my child's safety.

The mom doesn't parent how you would, get over it. It isn't your kid. She is saying what she did and that it worked for her (temporarily possibly)

[–]reluctant_commenter 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Completely agree. I can't remember which LGB-friendly therapist I heard say this, but it seems like there's a common trend among detransitioned girls/women of having an abusive family situation and poor relationships with their parents, especially the mothers-- yet when the mothers are asked, they say they had a great relationship with their daughters. This article reminded me of that trend.

[–]Chipit[S] 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

When caring about your daughter is child abuse.

Isn't there a Nietzsche quote about this?

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When caring about your daughter is child abuse.

Lol. That is such a distorted interpretation of what I said.

I never said the parent didn't care. It is possible for a parent to care about their child and still act in abusive ways towards their child. The feeling of caring itself is not abusive, but some of this parent's actions are, in fact, abusive.

Here are two examples of abusive behaviors that the parent in this article engaged in:

1 - Isolated her daughter from all the daughter's peers. -- The mother denies her child any autonomy or freedom in choosing her friends, cutting her off from almost all of them while not opening up any new avenues for the child to make friends with other kids who aren't so into gender identity theory.

Quote:

I went nuclear. I took the phone and stripped it of all social media—YouTube, Instagram, Discord, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter. I even blocked her ability to get to the internet. I deleted all of her contacts and changed her phone number.

What I'm wondering: If I were this child, would this convince me that I need to change my ways? Or would I re-contact all those friends who I got cut off from, once I turned 18 and left the house?

2 - Forced her daughter to consume the media that the parent thinks is right. -- This isn't any better than forcing your child to sit in the car and listen to fundamentalist Christian teachings or crackpot conspiracy theories. The parent is using the fact that she is the child's primary caregiver as leverage to force her child, a teen in the process of developing into her own person, to do something she wants. Even if the thing the parent's forcing her to do is the right thing, the behavior itself is coercive and founded on the power of threat. And threat is no basis for a caring relationship, regardless of whether the person making the threats actually does feel caring on the inside!

Quote:

I forced my daughter to listen to specific podcasts on the subject while driving her to school.

What I'm wondering: If I were this child, would I feel that my parent cares about me as they force me to consume media that they think is important, against my protests?

Above all... let me ask... Are these long-term solutions, that the parent has implemented? I think not.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had this same reaction, and a similar reaction to another opinion piece that was linked recently from the gender critical parent of a trans child.

This woman seems passive aggressive and seems to stereotype her daughter. I'd feel trapped in my body too.