BisexualThis post is a mess.

submitted by [deleted] from (self.LGBDropTheT)

https://www.reddit.com/r/FTMfemininity/comments/qs4qlm/bisexual_my_attraction_to_women_has_faded_since_i/ Bet they didn't have the gall to actually hang out with a women before jumping to such conclusions. And thought they were bisexuals only because they had ''crushes'' on some female celebrities but with men went all the way, with women they stopped at that and are surprised that their sexualities supposedly ''changed''. Cool.

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[–]julesburm1891 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Half of these women are bi and trying to to figure their shit out. Chill out and you’ll get there.

The other half are either straight or a Kinsey 2 bi at most. They’ve decided that men will only ever see them as objects if they’re women and they’ll have to act oct some 1950s sitcom marriage if they accept being a woman. Like, sis, you can just set boundaries and not date assholes and you’ll have a regular old straight relationship without shitty power dynamics. I see almost all of the straight people in my life do this. You’ll be fine. Stop this insane course of action that’s only going to fuck you up in the long run.

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (32 children)

This person does represent the "trying to figure things out" young bisexual. Unfortunately, she is learning in the age of labels and virtue signaling, so she isn't seeking out what bisexuals experience, she is trying to fit herself into a gender/inclusive box, and also "trans".

It's normal for young Bi women to experiment and get hella hard crushes on other women despite actually being more of a Kinsey 1 or 2. It's part of us figuring out whether we're homosexual, straight, or bisexual.

Bisexuality is the only "sexuality is a spectrum" one out there, and the label of "bi" doesn't say where we are on the spectrum. Our foundation is "we are attracted to both sexes", and the spectrum is how much or little, and why/how.

She did say this, "I'm a bit disappointed about my attraction to women disappearing like this." That makes me think she's more of a Kinsey 4, maybe even leaning towards Kinsey 5/FEBfem. Her attraction has changed since she took male hormones though, which speaks to what hormones and pharmaceuticals can do to disrupt a human.

[–]stunaep 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (25 children)

It's not the hormones. Attraction can't change due to hormones. There were a bunch of experiments in the past where they tried to change the sexuality of homosexuals by injecting them with different hormones. Something sociological is going on.

[–]motss-pb 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Maybe she fetishizes homosexual relationships. And now that she sees herself as a man, her attraction to women doesn't seem quite as gay to her anymore, so she lost interest.

[–]stunaep 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's deeper than that. But there is so little detail that I don't know what it is. They're always so vague about this kind of thing.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Hormones don't change sexuality. Its more likely she was focused on females like the young bi girls who are still discovering themselves and have a bigger focus on the sexuality which looks cooler and more transgressive. But now as transmen, she can still live a "gay" relationship in her eyes, so it is allowing her hetero attraction to take charge. Overall, I had this total misconception that bisexuality was 50/50 and that women who said they were bi but never dated same sex, were fake bis, But reality is you could be 90 percent het attraction and 10 percent homo attracted and still be bi. Also there is a difference between sexual and emotional attracted, and it is possible to be sex attracted to both but only romantically attracted to one sex. Overall, when someone say they're bi, you don't really know exactly what that means.

[–]RaspberryTea 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

But reality is you could be 90 percent het attraction and 10 percent homo attracted and still be bi. Also there is a difference between sexual and emotional attracted, and it is possible to be sex attracted to both but only romantically attracted to one sex. Overall, when someone say they're bi, you don't really know exactly what that means.

That's pretty much the reason I think a "bisexual community" is something of a lost cause. Men, women, mostly same-sex attracted, mostly het, right in the middle, all over the map.... You can't really organize that. It's just easier to align with whatever is most personally relevant.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it would make sense for the bi in the middle, but overall I don't think there is any need of community in general.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She said she's pre-everything though, so it's not the hormones.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I recall a related topic about transition and hormones being discussed in the past, so I'll link it here.

[–]fuck_reddit 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One of my best friends from high school apparently had this happen to her. Avowed lesbian who “became” a gay man thanks to testosterone… I don’t buy it either. I agree with your assessment.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

The double standard at play.

If you can declare someone bisexual and not gay because of feelings and little nuances of their behavior, a straight person can be bisexual and not straight the same way.

[–]stunaep 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you can declare someone bisexual and not gay because of feelings and little nuances of their behavior

You can, when such feelings and behavioral nuances include sexual attraction to both sexes lol.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think this post might've gotten flaired bisexual because the Reddit post title says bisexual. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your comment, though.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was responding to the op's commentary.

[–]Hannibalboy93 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Why are so many lesbians/ bi sexual woman trying to become gay men...

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel like we're living in a sort of twisted wonderland. You know that quote from Alice in Wonderland? This one "If I had a world of my own everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't" yeah that's the state of our world atm and also of their minds hahahaha oh and did you know that on the subreddit there is also a girl with a poster on the wall of two gay men kissing? and of course it's in anime style lol. I suspect it's full of straight women fantasising about gay men...

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Can't speak to bisexual women, but for lesbian women-- I kinda wonder if it's an extra level of internalized homophobia.

  • Some internalized homophobia: "I'll avoid the fact that I'm lesbian by deciding I'm actually a man!"

  • Extra internalized homophobia: "I am doubly not a lesbian because I am not a woman and I'm not attracted to women! See!"

Might sound ridiculous, but I seriously wonder if that's part of it. I've had a strong urge throughout my life (edit: growing up, to be clear) to run away from the fact that I'm gay (lesbian), and with just a bit of extra mental gymnastics I could see someone with that level of aversion going this route. Just speculation, though.

[–]stunaep 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're not lesbians. They seem to be very passionate about their attraction to men if you talk to them personally, but they are more reserved about it on these types of public threads.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This comment, lol.

I used to think I was lesbian (always struggled with the term as it implied I would have been female) although I was crushing on guys from afar. I often had situations in which a guy would make me horny, but acting on it was entirely impossible. My wife would have liked a threesome with a guy, but I cried bitter tears about never wanting that.

It wasn't that I hated men. I loved male actors - from afar. I loved male musicians - from afar. I had male friends. I also didn't hate male genitals, I actually was curious about them. I blamed testosterone, claimed I could smell a man versus a woman so that's why whenever I was close to one I backed off.

Goes on to say she "feels homosexual." Homosexual is not a feeling, it's a non-transitory state of being.