Gay MenOr, crazy idea here, you could not chase the one subset of men who aren’t into women and play the victim about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (10 children)

I’m trying to sort some similar things out. The dating apps are so fucked. Can’t they just ask people if they’re okay dating an FTM in the settings? it could be so simple!!

It was implied that you weren't supposed to be on Grindr since it was an app for same-sex attracted men before a Chinese company had it's way.

What’s the cutoff for the definition of chasers? Some gay cis men seem to be like “oh hey that’s really cool, I’m into that!” Especially stone tops.

The conflation and appropriation of terms used by different sects of same-sex attracted people (stone for lesbians, tops for gay men) fucking sends me.

[–][deleted] 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The chasers thing always confuses me. It's like they specifically want to date people who aren't attracted to them.

And I know they have no problem with fetishization considering their whole identity is based around fetishizing gay men.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 14 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

And I know they have no problem with fetishization considering their whole identity is based around fetishizing gay men.

They doth protest too much. It's also how narcissists act. They tell you their inner thoughts and put "not" in front of them or just attribute them to other people because they are masters of projection. They're so self-centered that they actually think that everyone else thinks and acts just like them. No, you're the fetishist. I can't be a fetishist because that's bad and I'm not the one who is bad, which is you.

[–]julesburm1891[S] 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Can’t they just ask people if they’re okay dating an FTM in the settings?

This got me too. The L, G, and most of the B have been asking for this for years so we don’t have to waste our time or wind up in uncomfortable/dangerous situations. Literally every time we advocate for it, they wail transphobia. When people put it clearly in their bio, they flip out and try to get their account deleted.

If they refuse to leave our spaces, they at least need to give us an avenue to say no for everyone’s sake.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 25 insightful - 10 fun25 insightful - 9 fun26 insightful - 10 fun -  (1 child)

You're not supposed to say no. Don't you get it yet?

[–]julesburm1891[S] 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m laughing but it’s so painfully true.

[–]RippoffOfLoveSStraight | Overuses quotation marks 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bumble will show me trans women, non-binary, and trans men. What the fuck are the rules??

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

before a Chinese company had it's way.

What’s the story/timeline there?

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In January 2016, Kunlun Tech Co Ltd bought 60% of the company and they fully bought it out by January 2018. Before that, more options were being added to maximize user experience such as more filters you could use to find what you want (that were mostly free). After the acquisition, that's when things started to go downhill and they began to cave (the Kinder campaign, openly allowing women, features that allowed you to see who looked at your profile and other micromanaging/stalker shit, etc.). It was then sold back to the US in March of 2020 around the time that the stock market crashed due to lockdowns.

[–]jiljol 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The conflation and appropriation of terms used by different sects of same-sex attracted people (stone for lesbians, tops for gay men) fucking sends me.

That was the part that stood out to me. It's perfectly normal for young gay men to slowly and clumsily learn the ropes by being introduced to lingo and "etiquette", but here we can see a characteristic mixture of complete ignorance and grandiose confidence that is so illustrative of the fact that these women are mere interlopers - charlatans whose masks will slip from time to time revealing the phony behind. Like someone who fakes an accent to pretend like they are from another place, only to inevitably commit a blunder that leaves them exposed.

[–]SerpensInferna 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was going to say, as a lesbian I have only EVER heard "stone" in reference to lesbians. It is absolutely jarring to see this conflation from these morons.