ColonizationThe oppression is real

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[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The reason LGB has coming outs is because a relationship is more than just sex. You're going to go on dates, go to family gatherings, live together, maybe get married, etc. All things that are publicly visible and aren't about sex.

But with asexuals no one would ever know about it if they just stopped fucking talking about it. They're so fucking desperate to be discriminated against that they go around screaming to the fucking world about how they're a minority. An asexual person can live their entire life, go on dates, get married, etc. and no one but their partner even needs to know about it. They would never face discrimination for being asexual because no one would know and no one would ever be able to tell just from appearances or by who that person dates.

No one needs to know about your sex life(or lack thereof), keep it to yourself and your partner(s).

[–]onenaivecanary 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, this keeps confusing me a lot. I grew up in a fairly conservative/moderate space, and as a young, not out to myself lesbian it was really easy to just be a "virtuous" young woman who didn't mess around with dating. I understand that at some point in your 20s, your family will probably start talking about you settling down and whatever, but you can always tell them that you don't want to and never will - end of story in most first world countries. I really don't understand this extreme focus on telling a bunch of strangers how you feel about having sex in great detail (that none of them will care about, at all). I believe there are people out there who don't feel attraction toward other people (for a variety of reasons, some of them not so good). I still think the reasonable thing to do is just... continuing to not have sex you don't want.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I never understood the urgency to come out with asexuals. I feel no need to share this with anyone because it will never affect these people. They will never be able perceive my orientation in the same way as you can observe someone being gay or bi by behavior you mentioned. Even if there could be someone wondering why I live a happy single life and don't look for a partner then it's just none of their business. One thing I understand is finding a name to your experience - I found learning about asexuality very useful to me but besides I see no point in coming out. It will just clearly make me an attention-whore since besides for that asexuality won't affect anyone but me, so me coming out is just signaling "Hey! LOOK I AM SO DIFFERENT."

[–]BootsAndBeards 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

A lot of asexuals just have weird fetishes that preclude having sex with real people.

[–]ElectricSheepSuperBi 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've noticed that a large amount of furries claim to be "kinky asexuals"

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No wonder they made it into asexual spectrum to just keep the label. They are just some insecure people or people, who think that not being a whore makes them demisexual. Why cannot these people keep it simple: no sexual attraction then you're asexual.

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

This is actually a decent analogy but I still find it hard to believe that someone can just literally not find anyone sexually attractive at all.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The GC--Phobia accounts are becoming more refined with their talking points. They're all controlled by dedicated TRAs of course, with one main agenda no matter their individual specializations; Trans supremacy. But their rhetoric has to accurately mirror the unique grievances of each other identity they pretend to be prioritizing in order to grind away at the GC base of support from as many different directions as possible.

And I do think they do anti-GC more effectively than your average TRA because they pay closer attention to the voices at the fringes of the GC. The ones not as embraced by the movement due to their relative lack of relatability and exploitability, so more likely to feel sidelined and alienated enough to leave (and maybe join the other side). These accounts are opportunistic and will pounce on any especially offhand remarks about these people's identities to add to their own cache of shame receipts to use as persuasion in skirmishes against the GC core.

On the topic of Aces though, I had difficulty for a while wrapping my own head around that orientation, until I thought of them as simply having one less sexual attraction than homosexuals or heterosexuals. And I had long gotten over the conceptual hump of thinking of these each as just having one less attraction than bisexuals. But Idk.. maybe this (over?)simplification just works with me.

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If someone was to tell me that they are not sexually attracted to any other human being, I'd probably just say, "Okay," because it really doesn't affect my life in the slightest. I can't really imagine that being true, but then at the same time I can't imagine the experience of a straight guy being sexually attracted to women, because I'm just not sexually attracted to women at all. So I guess in an abstract sense, I can take my lack of sexual attraction to women and imagine what it might be like to feel that way toward both men and women.

What I really can't imagine, is not being sexually attracted to anyone but still enjoying having sex.

I can get the analogy in the OP - what if I, as a gay man, was alone on a deserted island with nothing but women? I still have a sex drive, but I'm not sexually attracted to women, so I'm sort of out of luck. But where the analogy breaks down for me then is the thought of me saying, "Okay, I have no choice but to have sex with a woman if I want to have sex at this point, so I'm just going to do it."

What are the chances that I would actually enjoy that sex with someone I'm not sexually attracted to? Hell, there have been times I've had sex with men that I'm not particularly attracted to, and I didn't enjoy the sex because I wasn't attracted to them.

So I can buy "asexual but still has a sex drive," but I can't imagine enjoying sex at all if I wasn't at least somewhat sexually attracted to the person I'm having sex with.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well, meanwhile I try to understand how it happens someone feels it. I can only read people's experiences to have a grasp on how it manifests and no, it's not getting suddenly ready to bang a stranger as asexual community tries to frame (I wonder if such blunt, primitive understanding sexual attraction is caused by validating demisexuals and gray-sexuals so they will appear distinct from just normal sexual people) but it's still something what I've never experienced.