LesbianOne GNC lesbian woman's experience with being mistaken for a man in a women's bathroom

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[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

I saw this thread and thought other people here might find it interesting. It's just one person's experience, but I wanted to amplify this person's voice as someone who is actually in this demographic because sometimes TRAs hold up GNC lesbian women as a "Gotcha!" to suggest that women shouldn't defend their sex-based spaces. Whatever the case, this particular incident seemed like a wholesome encounter.

Text:

I have to share a thing. Today was the very first day in my life where, at a pub in the temple bar district of Dublin, I was challenged in a bathroom because a lovely lady thought I was a man. She couldn't see my face just my hair from behind and what I was wearing.

Her words to me where "Excuse me, this is a women's bathroom", to which I turned around and replied "of course it is that's why I'm standing in it". I had a massive smile on my face.

I was not annoyed, I was not offended at being 'misgendered', or rather 'incorrectly sexed'. I was so pleased, I asked her if I could give her a hug and congratulated her for protecting women's spaces because that takes guts.

I received about 100 apologies after, but I told the lady it was perfectly fine and that she didn't do anything wrong at all. It was a genuine mistake, there was no offence taken and I do have short hair and masculine presentation after all.

Most butch lesbians don't get harassed in toilets by women, we get challenged by boundaried and concerned women who make an honest mistake and apologise immediately. This is how it's done 🔥👍

[–]onenaivecanary 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

My wife has absolutely been harassed for going to the women's room, and she's pretty visibly a woman (at least, from my perspective - she just has a short hair cut). There are absolutely right-wingers in the US who are lumping GNC women in with trans women and who are being absolute assholes about it. I'm glad this experience ended in a civil way for this other woman, but it really doesn't always. Clowns to the left, jokers to the right. And more and more of them on both sides are getting increasingly vicious.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

doesn't her voice tip them off?

[–]onenaivecanary 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You would think. It's mostly been old conservative white guys who get mad at her while she's on her way to the bathroom. She and I both have vocal fry sometimes, but also we are squarely in the normal female range. I think people are just, you know, lumping "gay/gnc" in with trans. Which to be fair is what the activists and major organizations are doing, too. But it makes me feel like we're on a trajectory back to the dark ages.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Could also be dressing more masculine?

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that's happened to her.

There are absolutely right-wingers in the US who are lumping GNC women in with trans women and who are being absolute assholes about it.

Yep, totally makes sense. More reason for us to separate from the T and be clear about the harms of gender identity beliefs.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I'm attracted by that sweet kind character

[–]Datachost 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Lauren and her wife are both amazing.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

She says she is dysphoric?

[–]Datachost 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, she has gender dysphoria but treats it through CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy, I know what you were thinking) and talk therapy

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Do you have any links to like, places where she talks about that? I would love to learn more! I've speculated for a while that CBT would be a good approach to dealing with it but hadn't heard of any real-life examples where someone had actually done that.

[–]Datachost 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think she's talked about it in the LGN before https://lesbianandgaynews.com/2021/03/lauren-black-i-am-a-butch-lesbian-i-live-with-gender-dysphoria-i-do-not-believe-my-deep-discomfort-with-my-female-body-means-that-i-should-take-steps-to-change-it/

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the link!