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[–]Lizzythelezzo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I take your point, but I also think a lot of LGB people wear rainbows and stereotypical clothes/hairstyles to signal to others as a way to find partners and LGB friends. Dating apps are a shitshow so I don't blame people for trying other ways of finding other LGB people in the wild. I don't see this as a bad thing necessarily, as long as people understand it's not compulsory and just do it because they want to. Some people might be actively changing their behaviour in a way that is more reflective of who they are, because they feel like they now have permission to do so.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

as long as people understand it's not compulsory and just do it because they want to.

That's the key part. I agree with your view. However, the people I am talking about would likely not. My own experience with LGBTQ-identifying people my age has been that whenever I try to emphasize this (the point that you made), I am met with hostility and derision. I've been asked before if I feel bad about being gay just because I don't often wear clothes with rainbows on them. Seriously, people??

Some people might be actively changing their behaviour in a way that is more reflective of who they are, because they feel like they now have permission to do so.

Some, but not others. A good example: US Democratic candidate Pete Buttigieg, who is gay, was criticized by many in the LGBTQ+ movement as "being too straight". He is literally a gay man with a husband, but just because he doesn't live up to the expectations of the LGBTQ community, people claimed he must be "secretly straight" or something. That's just ridiculous.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"I've been asked before if I feel bad about being gay just because I don't often wear clothes with rainbows on them. Seriously, people??"

Wow, that's really odd! I've never encountered this sort of thing before. I also don't think I know any LGB people who regularly wear rainbows or pride symbols. FWIW I'm age 30, so maybe it's different for people of other age groups.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, that makes sense, yeah the age gap might be part of the difference. I'm in my early 20s. Generally speaking, I believe people when they tell me their sexual orientation, but there have been several people I've met who seem very likely to just be experimenting. I knew someone in college who self-identified as lesbian but regularly had sex with men... like dude, I'm not sure you know what that word means, lol.