Family / RelationshipsSorry guys, there's zero excuse for gay men not to be having sex with women now

submitted by ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah from thesun.co.uk

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[–]reluctant_commenter 30 insightful - 2 fun30 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

WTF aspects of this article:

  • Headline says he's gay, article says he's pansexual. WTF. This is why we need to emphasize that gay = homosexual. Bisexuality exists. Perhaps bisexual erasure among men is what is pressuring this guy to say he is "gay" when he openly states that he is attracted to women. But in the end, it is harming multiple demographics.

  • Article is written from the straight woman's perspective. Why is this all focused on her experience dating a "gay" man...?

  • Article celebrates the Mormon religion pressuring this man into dating women. Quote: "The pair are members of the of Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints - a faith which doesn't condone same sex relationships - and Matthew admits a strong motivation for dating women was so he didn't have to be single and celibate forever."

  • Inconsistencies in reporting. The first sentence says they "still have great sex and chemistry" but then says "relationship is stronger because it's NOT focused on physical chemistry"; the real winner quote: "I know he thinks I'm attractive, and I know he's drawn to me, and his sexual orientation didn't negate those things."

Homophobia all around. Fuck the Mormon church. (And yes, I know they don't like being called "Mormons" anymore but whatever.)

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The binary choice between dating a member of the opposite sex and being "single and celibate forever" is such a ridiculous scenario. I could also date other men. I would not want to be part of a religion that would shame me over a harmless characteristic of my own biology.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I mean many major religions are like that, unfortunately-- I believe the Catholic church has the same policy.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

At least with the Catholic Church, priests use discretion whenever they talk about homosexuality. I know it’s bad in Poland. Here in Ireland, meanwhile, most priests don’t care, with some not even caring that gay marriage was passed by a referendum. Most priests here are against gay marriage, but they generally avoid the topic of homosexuality or at least don’t want it criminalised.

[–]julesburm1891 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

A self-hating bi man married a woman due to religious pressures. How do people look at this and not see how sad it is?

[–]SerpensInferna 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I would go so far as to say he may very well be gay (of course I can't say for sure, I'm just reading some trashy article online). He is 'more attracted to men', is a member of a strict religion that condemns homosexuality, only dated women for social acceptance and out of fear of being alone for the rest of his life (by his own admittance), and never had sex with anyone before marrying his wife...

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If true, he is going to snap. One day it will happen. Midlife crises do happen.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

The mum-of-two describes herself as straight while her husband Matthew identifies as gay or pansexual, admitting he is "more attracted to men than women".

So, he's bi. She married a bi man and somehow this is a news story.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 10 insightful - 13 fun10 insightful - 12 fun11 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)

you're all just jealous of all the hot cuddling they do!!1!!

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Fake and bi.

Seriously, if he enjoys being married to her and having sex with her, then he’s not gay. Gay men don’t get enjoyment out of having sex with women. We get repulsed by it. When a man likes men and women, and enjoys having sex with men and women, then he’s bisexual. Nothing wrong with it, but if you are going to go public with the fact that you are same sex attracted and are happily married to a member of the opposite sex, you might as well publicly declare that you are bisexual. Don’t go around pretending that you’re gay when clearly you are not.

Or maybe this man really is gay, and he’s only going along with it so that he won’t get expelled from his community. This is not a community I would want any part of, but maybe this is the only community that he knows, and he feels that he has no other options, when in actual fact he does. If this man actually is gay, I hope they both come to their senses and get a divorce.

My advice to gay men who are struggling with their orientations is this: do not marry a woman. It’s not fair to her, it’s not fair to the children, and you are only going to resent your family and your community. But most importantly, it’s not fair to yourself. And if you’re bisexual, either be open about your orientation or don’t talk about it, either way, just don’t pretend that you’re a gay man when you’re with a woman or straight when you’re with another man.

Anyway, I don’t need an excuse. Nothing in this universe can make me have sex with women.

[–]DimDroog 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Gay men don’t get enjoyment out of having sex with women. We get repulsed by it.

I wish people understood this.

I hope to heck this guy is bisexual, b/c it's depressing thinking that he has been gaslit into sex with someone he finds repulsive.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The sad thing is, this man could be gay. You’d be surprised how many people are incapable of standing up for themselves or lack the ability to think outside the box. I know there are a lot of people who believe that bisexuality is a myth and would just call a married bisexual man gay even if he has a wife. But surely this woman would have said that her husband is bi because if he is then they’ve had sex and she’d be able to tell that he enjoys having sex with her. Then she’d come to the conclusion that her husband likes woman so obviously he couldn’t be gay, but he likes men as well so he still can’t be straight. A lot of gay men end up in loveless marriages with women because of a combination of various factors: familial pressure, religious pressure, community pressure, financial instability, lack of a spine and ignorance. This should not happen but it does.

[–]DimDroog 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

A lot of gay men end up in loveless marriages with women because of a combination of various factors: familial pressure, religious pressure, community pressure, financial instability, lack of a spine and ignorance. This should not happen but it does.

That is horrible. That would be a form of torture to be honest.

I hope he is bisexual, for his own sake, if that makes sense.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hope he’s bisexual too. For his sake, for his wife’s sake and for the sake of his children.

[–]fuck_reddit 6 insightful - 10 fun6 insightful - 9 fun7 insightful - 10 fun -  (1 child)

“My husband is gay” with that monstrosity of a beard? No he ain’t.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe he doesn’t trim his beard because he’s depressed?

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh lord, another panny.

I already knew that we didn't have a strong chemical attraction like I had experienced with other boyfriends, but it didn't really matter to me.

What on Earth does she mean by chemical attraction?

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 8 insightful - 9 fun8 insightful - 8 fun9 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

Straight people use covalent bonds to maintain their relationships, whereas we all know Van Der Waal's forces are the queerest chemical bond.

[–]book_hoarder 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Identifies as gay or pan

Pick one. You can't be both.

Never had sex with anyone before marriage

Ah, ok. So he doesn't know if he really likes fucking dudes, he just thinks about them while he's fucking his wife. Got it.

Latter Day Saints

This just in: religious gay man pursues a "mixed-orientation marriage" to avoid going to Hell. But that's alright. At least his wife is happy and thinks the sex is great.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Who am I to judge. If they're OK with it, go forth, and live and love your lives.

Despite his confusion with calling himself gay (for being attracted to men) ... he's just a a bi dude who prefers men. I don't know what that's called for men, for women it's FEBfem. She's straight and religious and traditional, and doesn't care about his sexual orientation as long as they work well together, as lovers and partners, and teach good values to their children.

What's shitty is that this is being proclaimed as some sort of LGB stereotype. It's not. This is just two people who found each other, and OMG! OH NO! ONE OF THEM IS NOT STRAIGHT!

It's just trash tabloid talk. Tabloids were the original clickbait of print media, and the Sun has continued into the internet. This story is the equivalent of the shitty over-the-top magazine in the grocery checkout line.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

MEBmen? MEBmas?