you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]7874[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

"Transbians" on this sub never get such sympathy.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

You called her a "woman" so I pointed out that she's not really there yet. She's still being an idiot, but also her brain is still developing at that age. The two go hand in hand for some people. Let's cross our fingers that she turns out to be one of them. (Her and the rest of the online world that is still being young and dumb--they're managing to do a lot of damage regardless, but we can at least hope it will come to a natural end sooner rather than later for at least some of them.)

As for transbians:

This is actually not true. There's a video discussed in a thread here about Lisa Shupe, who was interviewed this year about her (his) struggles with AGP and attempts to get help. Worth watching.

What is also true is that AGP is generally a condition that inspires men to harass women. Those are the ones that typically get discussed here, and women are under no obligation to feel sympathetic toward men who prey on them.

[–]7874[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

She's a young woman, definitely, but 19 is far from a child.

As far as Lisa Shupe, he's a little different because he's self-aware and trying to deal with his condition. I'd feel some sympathy for an AAP woman who is doing the same, but none for one who thinks it's acceptable to harass gays. So I see why some people here would afford him some pity, but this situation is totally different, and my point that "transbians" who harass lesbians are rightfully given no sympathy still stands.

What is also true is that AGP is generally a condition that inspires men to harass women.

This AAP woman has already harassed gays online and wants to do it in person. AGPs are not unique in that respect. Are the men here obligated to feel sympathetic towards this predatory woman?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I would love it if you made far fewer assumptions about people here, listened more, and made fewer authoritative-sounding declarations for which you don't possess the requisite backstory or history.

Looking for a bone to pick because the other person hasn't spelled out every last detail of their perspective (every freaking time; do you have any idea how often these same topics come up?) is super tiresome and I'm not going to indulge this one with further time-wasting clarifications which no one else here seems to need so they will simply be decent and give the benefit of the doubt. I won't play.

The know-it-all attitude isn't helpful here. Learn who people are here before you start willy-nilly disparaging them and projecting assumed opinions onto them. Thanks.

Furthermore, when were you planning to even tell us in some easily-accessible way what your sex and orientation are? That isn't required but it is definitely a thing out of courtesy around here to help us understand one another better. Everyone interacting with you who discloses is at a disadvantage because you generally don't disclose.

[–]7874[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

The double-standard is obvious to everyone with eyes. Feel free to point out exactly where I assumed something about you and what I'm projecting. I'll wait.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I'll wait.

That’s nice, because as I’ve demonstrated I am already done waiting for you to notice your own attitude here. It’s not one instance, it’s a pattern that came with you to this sub and persists. So no, we’re not going to isolate it down to one instance in order to evade looking at the pattern.

Your insight about how you come across here is insufficient. Like I said, it's tiresome, and I am not bothering going around in circles with you further. You clearly don't get, or don’t care, how you come across. I refer you to your own recent struggle with a friend you tried at the last second to talk out of surgery (rather vehemently, according to your account—“I think I got too emotional trying to talk her out of it and she's ignoring me now”—which was both selfish and foolhardy; I tried to be supportive regardless, but am out of patience with your lack of insight about your own behavior now): Look at yourself, not at others. Charging in with your convictions and assumptions and casting them about everywhere in ways that insult the intelligence of people who have been here way longer than you have is never going to work. And that's what you tend to do here. When you respond to a specific person as if they have beliefs that they don't have, and start a debate about that as if that's a credible approach to dialogue, you just look like you're addicted to aggressively being right at people, and living in your own head rather than participating in conversations with others. Enough already. "I'll wait" doesn't lend validity to your ignorance, btw, it just makes you look further insistent on protecting ignorant positions you have decided to hold. Do you seriously think you are on some sort of mission to educate people here? Do you really think we don’t already have plenty of clues? Because that’s how you act sometimes.

I've censored this criticism with you many times already and am simply not doing it anymore. You come across as ignorant and arrogant. It is a drag to attempt to converse with you rather often as a result because of your need to have things explained to you that others are decent enough to assume might be the case without the hand-holding.

You are new here. Respect that instead of acting like you know everything necessary to have a conversation with anyone you meet here. You don't. And I am definitely not waiting, I'm done. So go ahead and hold your breath for your chance to be "right" all you want. When you project crap onto other people here, you aren’t, and that’s not subject to debate.

Also, you still have not disclosed any basic demographic info. We still don’t have any idea who you are beyond a number as a username, and your general attitude. It’s obvious you care about things and want to engage. Learn how to do that with more grace and you’ll be fine, but in the meantime, trying to talk with you about issues too often involves you spewing insulting assumptions and declarations instead of respecting those you are conversing with might also know a thing or two even if they haven’t put up a sign listing all of those things every time they talk with you. Have a nice day, kiddo. I was as insistent and oblivious as you, once upon a time, and it didn’t go well for me either. Take a breath and slow your roll.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You are new here.

Oh I doubt that ;)

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Can't say that hasn't crossed my mind. Insistent, obtuse vehemence is usually more of a troll thing. So it's best to not do that here unless one wants to eventually be asked, "Have we met before?"

[–]7874[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haha nice, trying to hurt me with the fact that my friend removed her genitals because of internalized homophobia and mental illness. How selfish and foolhardy of me to care, right? I was just stressed that night and paranoid that I scared her off, but she just fell asleep and resumed talking to me for a while longer after that but still went through with the surgery. Why did you bring that up? I guess now I'm supposed to kiss your ass for bothering to comment on that post.

All you're doing is complaining about my tone and throwing around accusations with nothing to back it up. I guess that's what you call "censoring criticism" lol I never asked you to treat me with kid gloves. This isn't reddit.

The fact that women are given a lot more leeway here even when they're harassing gays is obvious, and it points to the sub's radical feminist leanings. It's hypocritical. You have the right to not like it when I point that pattern out, but you can't stop me from saying it.

Also, it's incredibly narcissistic to act like you're "explaining" things to me as if I know nothing when I completely understand where you're coming from, I simply disagree with you. Since I disagree, I'm some idiot who needs to be educated by you, right? We're just having a discussion where we disagree, an argument perhaps. Or is that not allowed?

Thanks for the "advice", but you're not the tone police. I noticed that when we talk, you report my comments, I guess because you disagree with me. Again, this isn't reddit. I have the right to disagree with you.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

19 is far from a child.

19 is very close to childhood. In most areas of the world, it's just a legal definition. That aside, humans brains don't fully develop until we're in our 20s, puberty happens anywhere in our tween-or-teen-years, and there are plenty of late-bloomers. A 19 year old can be considered "not child" based on anatomy and physiology, but there's a world of difference between "young" and "adult".

This AAP woman has already harassed gays online and wants to do it in person. Are the men here obligated to feel sympathetic towards this predatory woman?

No, not at all. Just as women here aren't obligated to feel sympathetic towards predatory men. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

The user you're replying to wasn't saying or implying anything about gay/bi men kowtowing. She was mentioning that AAP and AGP can have similarities and differences. It's good for all of us (no matter which letter of LGB we are) to check things out and consider other views.

[–]7874[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My point about the double-standard still stands.

[–]jiljol 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sadly, that's just the way things are. Spaces like these tend to have people who tilt ever-so-slightly towards a radical feminist POV, where women (including transgender-identified ones) are at the very least given the benefit of the doubt, or just outright treated like misguided victims despite their behavior. The fact that the people they are defending (white, liberal, middle/upper-middle class, female) are the driving force behind the entire transgender movement is irrelevant: "what a poor (virulently homophobic) girl child... but that dude who jerks off to futa hentai and hates women? that's a monster".

[–]7874[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm tired of radical feminists colonizing a movement against something that is primarily based in homophobia for their own ridiculous purposes. Their ideology is so cheap and they have no analysis other than "women victims :("