LGB ErasureThey really are coming for us and trying to make gay men and woman "deprogram" our "preferences".

submitted by Hannibalboy93 from reddit.com

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[–]Hannibalboy93[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh yes, like another post in this sub the other day where I got dogpiled for saying that maybe there's a little transphobia in equating attraction to genitals only. Yep, I was just being homophobic and invalidating their sexuality because it "is" about genitals (according to some people even here apparently). Excuse me, all I'm doing is not giving cis people asspats for acting like trans people are some entirely separate fake gender that it's ok not to include among your ~preferences.

Realistically no one can or should be told who to date, of course. But making up obviously transphobic reasons and then expecting to be told it's ok, it's just your ~biological drives~ that mean trans people are inherently less desirable? I'm sorry but that is a twist on transphobia. I'm genuinely puzzled so many cis gay men are ok with sexualizing their identity so much that they equate man = dick and that's it. Last I checked that hypersexualization was a stereotype they seemed to be quite fed up with.

"Anyway, turning it all into a talking point is definitely a reminder that it's still seen as okay to exclude trans people just by virtue of being trans and it's both tiring and othering. Especially when you have those folks whose attraction "magically" turns off when someone comes out to them. Like you were perfectly capable of it five minutes ago, don't tell me that's not related to transphobia in any way."

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Especially when you have those folks whose attraction "magically" turns off when someone comes out to them. Like you were perfectly capable of it five minutes ago, don't tell me that's not related to transphobia in any way.

That's not transphobia though. There is a specific term called a 'turn-off' in terms of attraction. As in, if you see someone behave some way, or you receive information that changes the way you see someone, you might not attracted anymore. For example, if I found someone attractive, then found out that they're my first cousin, or biological sibling, the attraction that was there will be gone. Same goes for deception. If someone hides a part of their identity to seem more desirable, of course attraction may dissipate if the other person finds out that they were not upfront about this detail.

Edit: Used the wrong term for deception

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think a good word for what's going on here would be "mimicking." Trans people are mimicking the opposite sex. They of course don't think they are (by which I mean the TRA types; the transsexual people (who are mostly pre-2015 transitioners) I know are quite aware of what their biological sex is and don't play games with words about it). Animals employ this strategy for various reasons, such as for safety, or for predatory purposes. "Passing" could qualify under either of those motives in addition to just wanting to feel different / better somehow in their bodies.

The TRAs want to ignore that what they are doing is mimicry (the bait part of a bait-and-switch scenario) so that they can then be victims when someone who was presented with a pseudo-cis person (bait) finds out the truth (switch). It's rationalization. And that's the thing that makes them unattractive. They aren't willing to risk being evaluated on their true merits. (While complaining that they aren't being evaluated on their true merits. Sure, because you didn't SHOW ANYONE those. You presented a false self and proceeded to flop around being a victim when that didn't work.)

Which is dumb and short-sighted. If you are going to be in the world as a tangibly trans person (and it really is tangible by the time nudity is involved) then pony up the honesty required to find suitable mates instead of just disappointing a larger group of people who were looking for something else in the first place.

Don't stand on the sidewalk with an overcoat full of fake Rolexes, in other words. Offer what you really have to offer, i.e. grow up.

But they can't because now they're selling each other delusions 24/7. The backlash from the rest of us is not only inevitable, it's also necessary, because it is simply boundary enforcement. Leave us alone and we won't have to be disappointing. We have definitions for our words and we have had them for a very long time. If you try to come in with a rewrite of reality and get sex from people you know damned well want something else, you deserve every last bit of rejection you've earned. It's just idiotic. No amount of screwing around with language will change that.