I think a good word for what's going on here would be "mimicking." Trans people are mimicking the opposite sex. They of course don't think they are (by which I mean the TRA types; the transsexual people (who are mostly pre-2015 transitioners) I know are quite aware of what their biological sex is and don't play games with words about it). Animals employ this strategy for various reasons, such as for safety, or for predatory purposes. "Passing" could qualify under either of those motives in addition to just wanting to feel different / better somehow in their bodies.

The TRAs want to ignore that what they are doing is mimicry (the bait part of a bait-and-switch scenario) so that they can then be victims when someone who was presented with a pseudo-cis person (bait) finds out the truth (switch). It's rationalization. And that's the thing that makes them unattractive. They aren't willing to risk being evaluated on their true merits. (While complaining that they aren't being evaluated on their true merits. Sure, because you didn't SHOW ANYONE those. You presented a false self and proceeded to flop around being a victim when that didn't work.)

Which is dumb and short-sighted. If you are going to be in the world as a tangibly trans person (and it really is tangible by the time nudity is involved) then pony up the honesty required to find suitable mates instead of just disappointing a larger group of people who were looking for something else in the first place.

Don't stand on the sidewalk with an overcoat full of fake Rolexes, in other words. Offer what you really have to offer, i.e. grow up.

But they can't because now they're selling each other delusions 24/7. The backlash from the rest of us is not only inevitable, it's also necessary, because it is simply boundary enforcement. Leave us alone and we won't have to be disappointing. We have definitions for our words and we have had them for a very long time. If you try to come in with a rewrite of reality and get sex from people you know damned well want something else, you deserve every last bit of rejection you've earned. It's just idiotic. No amount of screwing around with language will change that.