"bold of you to assume trans people are attracted to YOU" is always my thought when I see that.

I have Tinder Gold and can see who is trying to message me on Grindr. I think I have a pretty clear idea of the number of women I've had to block on the latter and clear from my queue on the former.

I'm a gay transman and I felt all of this in my soul. Its disgusting how much transphobia is out there. Gay trans men exist, damn it! We aren't a fetish, we aren't a sort of lesser man, we are men!

You are not a man and you yourself have a fetish.

It's good to keep in mind there's no such thing as THE gay community, there's just gay pockets and subcultures with varying degrees of chillness. None of those gay men that say those kind of things is the pr manager of the gay community either, it's even the other way around, they are seeking community and attempting to define themselves through saying that "ew, vagina" shit. If you think that's pathetic, you aren't wrong. You will find partners just fine though, they'll simply not be in the transphobic pockets of gay men. Ultimately, it's no different from how "gay culture" excludes a bunch of body types and ethnicities, everyone hates it and the people that do it are some losers on grindr, not confident and well adjusted people.

Gay men come together into "communities" because we are exclusively same-sex attracted and want to maximize our chances at finding a short-term or long-term partner to pair off with. Those of us who feel safe enough will express the "ew vagina" sentiment because we are not able to enthusiastically consent to anyone born with one. If you have a problem with that, you are a sexual predator. Many gay men will censor ourselves because of having to navigate education, housing, and employment in order to survive in the larger society and at least try and prosper or because we don't want to be iced out of the few spaces that prioritize(d) same-sex attraction. The people that make their boundaries clear are not losers and are, in fact, much more well adjusted than anyone going on an incel/femcel rant every other day.