ColonizationIf gay men asserting the fact that they are gay makes you suicidal, your lack of dating options is the least of your problems

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[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

If I have to see another, 'I'm totally okay with trans people, I'm just not attracted to them' post, I'm going to lose it.

And it's fucking everywhere. Even the bisexuality subreddit is chock full of people giving their unasked-for opinions on trans people's bodies. No one asked.

They don't ask, they TELL us all, over and over and over again, in entitled, obtuse, and often rapey fashion. Hence the prompt and regular boundary assertion. Any time a TRA says "No one" at the start of a sentence, they're lying.

I still feel 1% sorry for them for feeling body shamed, but they 99% likely did that to themselves by pushing themselves on people who by definition are not going to want them. Crack a dictionary and save yourself some heartache, FFS. This wall ain't moving not matter how many times you bang your head against it.

And frankly I am glad to hear that bisexuals aren't as much of a soft target TRAs seemed to expect we would be. Again, learn what words mean. Then come up with your own terms to differentiate, so you can find the people who want to find you.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 20 insightful - 9 fun20 insightful - 8 fun21 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

No one asked.

Oh come on sugartits, you're in /r/AGB asking every five fucking minutes and waving your lady parts about begging for validaaaaaaaaaation.

[–]ThrowMeAway2879[S] 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Tthey didn't task, they TOLD us

To be fair, they do ask. Preferably on online forums. Like clockwork. Again and again and again. And again. "Would you date a trans man?" "Am I valid?" "Pre-op trans bro, am I allowed here?"

So, yes: They do ask and they ask so often that people learn that only a no will stop the invasion. And since a simple "no" will usually not suffice, people get more graphic every time.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The same way that women think they have to have reasons to say no to straight men who pursue them ("I have a boyfriend," etc.). Like every one of those perpetrators, these don't understand that no means no, either.

But also: It's not a benign question if they have set up an implied transphobia accusation threat right behind it. It's a trap.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"I didn't ask for your opinion so you could disagree with what I want to hear! If you're not going to validate me with the response I want then get out"

[–]pacmanla 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Then come up with your own terms to differentiate, so you can find the people who want to find you.

It's weird to me that the people that want & are interested in them, are called "chasers". But, ironically, that same term could be applied to them as well, for "chasing" those who by definition could never be attracted to them.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It all fits together, doesn't it. Except the ones who chase them apparently have more success.

It's all about self-image. They are always hunting for the right mirror. Which means the people they complain don't want them are in fact just objects to them, that are supposed to show them the right reflection (validation). They don't want to be chased FOR being trans. That's still coming from reality and that's not acceptable.

[–]JulienMayfair 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They don't ask, they TELL us all, over and over and over again, in entitled, obtuse, and often rapey fashion.

They're fishing for validation, and like with most narcissists, they are enraged when they don't get it.

It's funny. With the few trans people I knew in the 1990s, all they wanted to do was pass. They didn't bring up being trans all the time.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

all they wanted to do was pass. They didn't bring up being trans all the time.

Yes, that describes probably two-thirds of the trans people I know and nearly all of the ones who transitioned before the last five years. The ones who are not clearly "out" pass way less often than I pretend they do, but I do that for their comfort to put them at ease, since our interaction contexts have nothing to do with dating or any other situation in which I'd actually have to care, and they are kind people. So I don't let on that I am aware. The only downside to that is if they need support for something that is about being trans, but presumably they have people to talk to for that. It's their choice to try to fly under the radar, so I take that as my cue to go along with it. They don't demand validation from me about anything. And they don't tart themselves up in silly clothes and (re: the MTFs) makeup either, they just look like everyday people. They are not on parade. And those are the people that I've always felt supportive and protective of, because they aren't trying to fuck with anyone else about anything. If anything they shrink from living full lives.

That's why I hate TRAs so much. They, like all other narcissists, ruin damned near everything they touch. It is not hard to be supportive of trans people as people just trying to get through life like everyone else, even if you don't agree with what they believe about biology, etc. But I know no one who is willing to get bullied, threatened, defamed, pushed around, gaslit, etc. by anyone, but especially not anyone who also has their head up their ass about biological reality. Some things can be overlooked in polite company that just become absolutely onerous to ignore when being actively harassed about it.

I don't even know what my quiet trans friends believe and I am sure it varies, but it doesn't matter, because again, they leave other people (and their sex-based rights) alone. Some of them have partners and some don't, at about the same frequency as other people I know, so they seem to be managing okay in that regard as well.