Indoctrination / DoublethinkThe irony - complaining because "online queer folk have decided lesbians can have sex with men for fun"

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[–]Mermer 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I don't think we should be spreading the idea of being pressed about who sleeps with who. Why don't lesbians get to be bi-curious? I think many lesbians struggle with accepting being a lesbian because how it is forbidden for them to even find a man attractive. You can appreciate someone's attractiveness, hell even have a crush on them but never actually see them in that way realistically. And maybe you can even try it with a very special man for the pure sake of experimentation or fun without having to disgenuinely identify as bi. Idk, if you ask me, using men for sex without actually liking them or with having 0 intentions of anything real seems pretty gay to me. Just my opinion, pls don't attack me if you disagree.

Wow, ok, edit: call me crazy but I still don't think purely circumstantial, one in a million probably heavily power imbalanced sex with a man makes you bi if you don't seek relations with men on regular basis. Also, finding a man attractive ≠ being attracted to him especially if you don't normally find men attractive.

If these girls would use some more specific label like "bisexual homoromantic" you'd probably be rolling your eyes. Labels are societal and signal who you're interested in so I do not think it is fair to call yourself bi if you don't like men and you're not interested in them.

Edit 2: afterthoughts, if anyone even sees this. I'm not saying what those girls are doing is right. You really shouldn't be sleeping with people just because you're bored. But if that's your reasoning behind it I really wouldn't count it as attraction.

[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Why don't lesbians get to be bi-curious?" Because this really stretches the term 'lesbian', and 'homosexual', until it means nothing anymore. Being bi-curious means you're in a state of questioning; it means your sexual orientation is in limbo. It implies that someone either doesn't understand sexual attraction yet (like kids/teens for example) or that you thought you had your sexual attraction figured out until you found someone attractive whose sex isn't included within this definition, which simply means you used the wrong label/term to describe your feelings until now. Happens to the best.

But you're not a lesbian AND bi-curious. Just like you can't be straight and bi-curious. If someone is really comfortable sexually experimenting with either sex, then this person isn't homo- nor heterosexual.

The problem here is that this woman and maybe you are using 'lesbian' or sexual orientation in general as an identity, and not just a term to describe homosexual women and sexual attraction. And that's straight out of the TRA textbook and queer theory 101. And if you do that, then 'lesbian', 'gay' and 'homosexual' have no sexuality-related meaning at all. What's left is stereotypes.

If a woman, an adult human female, is attracted to a man, then this woman is factually not homosexual. Homosexuality, being attracted to the same sex, is not the right descriptor for the sexual orientation of this particular woman. The question everyone should ask is why she clings to the identity "lesbian"? Why not embrace bisexuality? If society just accepts this kind of entitlement to words because of the "be kind" narrative, what does it mean for lesbians who do not feel the same way as her? Because now we can't actually distinguish anymore between women who are only attracted to women, and women who are attracted to both sexes. What does this accomplish? We will just end up in a society in which homosexual women can't organize or even define themselves anymore. Homosexuals then cease to exist. Among the TRA kind, we're already just "people with a preference". It's Orwellian.

There's nothing wrong with being bi or straight. This woman can still live and identify with all the lesbian stereotypes that she chooses. It doesn't change the meaning of the word homosexual, and it therefore doesn't make her a lesbian.