DiscussionGender drama story on NPR this morning

submitted by JulienMayfair from self.LGBDropTheT

Not sure if anyone else here heard it, but there was a story and interview about how Ash Beckham, "LGBTQ activist," encountered a very difficult situation when taking her niece to some event for the movie Frozen, which sounded like a nightmare where they had to wait in line for two hours to see something. From what I could tell, Beckham is a cis lesbian who's pretty androgynous looking. So when they finally got to the front of the line, the poor person trying to manage this event asks if her niece wants to go on alone or "with her dad." Beckham then goes into this long consideration of how she thought about reacting. In the end, she decided not to mess up her niece's day, and it seemed like the person who called her "dad" by accident realized her mistake and apologized.

I googled her when I got home, and yes, she is very mannish looking. Looks a bit like Leonard Cohen. So I can easily see someone, especially someone running a long line of kids, looking at her and mistaking her for a man.

So, why are we having a long NPR interview about this as though it's some kind of traumatic event that she experienced? She admits she can be mistaken for a man. There was no malice on the part of the person who made the mistake. People make mistakes. I guess the most charitable reading of it is that it was trying to show that people do occasionally mistake men for women and vice-versa and that it's not worth a huge, ugly confrontation. Yet, that's not really how Beckham presented it.

Why are we hearing about this instead of, for example, efforts to help LGB people escape oppressive countries?

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[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

And the thing is, those people really have no solution for such an imaginary "problem". What is the goal? Are we supposed to ask someone's pronouns every single time before engaging in a conversation? I guarantee you if this was the case and the event manager asked Beckham what her pronouns were, she'd be just as upset because it still implies that people can't tell her sex. If Ash Beckham's sex looks ambiguous then she has to fucking learn to live with it. Maybe we should start normalizing misgendering and teach people to not take it to heart? And teach kids that it's NOT weird or funny if a boy doesn't look masculine or a girl doesn't look feminine. Then misgendering wouldn't be a slur anymore. That's the true solution to this "problem". Normalizing gender nonconformity. And not erasing sex, criminalizing/problematizing misgendering and reinforcing stereotypes.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Normalizing gender nonconformity.

Ah yes, the good old days that existed for a hot second in liberal towns. Little did we know some stereotype-addicted children (who aren't old enough to drive, but never mind) had their foot on the gas when we all tried to pull over at that rest stop and set up a homestead where everyone could chill and stop worrying about sizing each other up all the time.

I was "mis-sexed" (because that's what it was; I knew what I was so it wasn't like it was threatening to me that someone else couldn't tell immediately, it was just annoying that it came up at all) on a regular basis as an adolescent.

Guess I missed out on doing some NPR interviews.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can easily being mistaken for underaged because I'm small, I don't fussed over it, I mean in the past I kinda hated it and I got a complex (now I'm starting to like it because ageing sucks) but people just make quick judgement without thinking. Some butches do look like men, it isn't people fault.

[–]censorshipment 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

She looks like one of those Michfest (🥲) attendees who listens to k.d. lang religiously lol it's quite easy to tell a gnc woman from a man due to no trace of facial hair. I know some men don't ever grow facial hair... and they tend to cause confusion lol even with their voices, no bass at all... dudes be sounding like Cathy Brennan 😆 gawd I can't stand her voice lol but I digress.

[–]Tikiri 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I googled her, and though I can see how she may not look stereotypically “feminine”, I don’t think she looks like a man. To me, she looks like a woman who wears more masculine clothing/hairstyle/etc.

And I can kind of understand why she’d feel hurt. I’m a straight woman and have been mistaken for a man (it was the ‘90s and that whole Seattle grunge/lumberjack look was huge, and I was not a girly-girl), and it did hurt ... at least, a little bit. It made me realize how fixated society can be on gender stereotypes, which still makes me angry.

I just hope she doesn’t get so upset by it that she ends up questioning her womanhood, or get gaslit into thinking that “maybe she’s really a man” or some horrific lie like that, which TRAs seem to relish forcing on gender-nonconforming women.

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe it's a difference of opinion, but I think in certain of her photos, she could be mistaken for a man. I think we've all, at one time or another, seen someone, say, in the grocery store and haven't been able to tell right off if the person is a man or a woman. Beckham admits it herself in the interview.

Also, Beckham notes that she was carrying her niece on her shoulders, which is more of a stereotypically "dad" thing to do.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Why are we hearing about this instead of, for example, efforts to help LGB people escape oppressive countries?

Wut?? Are you trying to insinuate that a mannish woman being mistaken for a man and then apologized to is somehow less harmful to us kweer people than getting beaten to death by the taliban!!1??

[–]iamonlyoneman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because NPR is a propaganda organ of the leftist pro-gender-identitarian state